The Best Of Me

Chapter 2

    Brantley

"Brantley, You need to wake up you're gonna be late for work" I opened my eyes just enough to see Amber looking down at me with an angry look on her face. "Ow, shit you don't have to kick me I'm getting up. Damn." I tried to sit up but my head felt like it was splitting open and the room started spinning. This doesn't happen too often anymore last night must have gotten really crazy. I reached for the bottle that was laying in my bed and as I did I noticed the blood and bruises on my knuckles. Not my blood. What the hell did I do last night? I'm not in jail so it must not have been too bad. I downed what was left in the bottle and walked past Amber. She was bitching about something but I wasn't really listening. I turned on the shower as hot as I could stand it and let it run for a minute before taking my clothes off and stepping in.

When I walked into the living room Amber started bitching again. Or maybe she'd never stopped. I acted like I didn't even hear her as I sorted through my clothes trying to find a decently clean uniform for work. After I was dressed I kicked around a few bottle looking for one that wasn't completely empty. I found one with a little in the bottom so I finished it. I would have to stop on my way to work to get more. I walked out the door and Amber was still going on about something. The last words I heard as I slammed the door was "You can't keep trying to save everyone else when you can't even save yourself Brantley". I don't know what she's talking about but I'm guessing it has something to do with the shape I'm in this morning.

As soon as I got to work the boss pulled me to the side. "Hey man I'm sorry I'm late I should have called I just overslept. Wont happen again. Promise." "That's what you said last time and the time before that. and again before that. This is becoming an almost regular thing for you Brantley. I can't have it. If I let it slide with you everyone else will think it's okay and next thing I know all my employees will do whatever the hell they want. I can't have that." "What are you saying?" "What I'm saying is that you're always late and you drink on the job. I know you thought I didn't know but I was recently made aware. I can't have that. I have to let you go. But I wish you all the best" "Well fuck what am I supposed to do now?" "I don't know but it's you're own fault. I hope you can get your shit together before it's too late" "fuck you man"

I couldn't go home. Amber was going to kill me. I pulled into the nearest liquor store and bought a fifth of jack and a 6 pack. 20 minutes later I was sitting in the middle of the woods on a fallen tree halfway through the 6 pack. I had another show tonight. Music was the only thing in my life that I actually enjoyed these days. I was too ashamed to deal with my family and all Amber ever did was bitch. The only reason I bothered with work was to get away from her anyway. That and I needed money to drink. I finished what was in the last can and followed it up with a chug of whiskey before throwing both into the creek in front of me. I had nowhere to go but home. I was going to need more alcohol to get through this day.

"Amber, babe. Where are you? I left work early so we could spend the day together" It was a lie but I'd tell her the truth later. Where was she anyway? I knew she didn't work today and as far as I knew she didn't have any plans. I searched the house but she wasn't anywhere to be found and she wasn't answering her phone. Fuck it. I cracked another beer. She'd be home soon. My phone rang and I looked down thinking it might be her but it was just my brother Kolby. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Where the fuck was Amber? I'd been home for hours and the sun was starting to go down. I had to get ready for the show tonight. Maybe she'd meet me there. I went to my closet to find some clothes and stopped dead in my tracks. Half the closet, Amber's half to be exact, was empty. I tore through the house looking for signs of her but everything was gone. Her dresser drawers, her half of the medicine cabinet. Her clothes, her shoes, her makeup, everything was gone. My phone rang and without even looking at it I hit ignore and slammed it onto the table. I opened the fridge to get another beer and that's when I noticed the envelope with my name on it.

Brantley,

I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I'm gone.I hope you get the help you need. Once you do maybe I'll still be around.But I'm not waiting or holding my breath.I'll always love you and that's why I can't watch you self destruct.

Amber

I don't know how much time passed or how many times my phone rang. I couldn't take my eyes off the letter. I couldn't stop reading her words over and over to myself. At some point I ran out of beer so I put the letter down and made a beer run. I spent the rest of my check on beer and whiskey. Back at home I put it all in the fridge and sat down. The next couple days were a blur. Sometimes I cried, Sometimes I broke shit. If I slept I don't remember. I didn't eat and I didn't shower, and there was no one there to care if I did either. I trashed the house. I didn't bother throwing my cans or bottles in the garbage. I punched walls. I broke my phone because the damn thing didn't stop ringing and it was never the person I wanted to talk to. I had no job and no girlfriend. I no longer cared about anything. Every so often there was a knock at my door. I didn't bother seeing who it was. I knew if I didn't answer eventually they'd go away and leave me alone.

I don't know how much time passed but eventually I ran out of alcohol. I couldn't find a single bottle with a drop in it anywhere. I scraped together enough money to go buy more. The sun was bright as I walked out my front door. When I got back home I went to grab my beer from where I'd put it behind my seat and grabbed my guitar instead. I forgot it was even back there. I took the beer and the guitar into the house, cleared off a spot on the couch, cracked open a beer, and started playing that guitar. All the pain I was feeling came through that guitar. Line after line, word after word. She had been the best of me and loved me through the worst of me and now she was gone. But I'd go on living. I'd get another job. I'd apologize to the band and promise to never blow them off again. I'd get the house cleaned up and the holes patched. I'd quit drinking. I had found my guitar and in it I think I'd found myself. but first I had to finish this bottle of whiskey.

The house phone rang. Only a small amount of people actually had the number and so it hadn't rang in who knows how long. I didn't want to answer it. Whoever was on the other end had probably heard by now. I couldn't face them. I set my guitar down and that's when I realized I stunk. I went to the bathroom with its half empty shelves and took a hot shower. Once I was clean I turned it on full blast as cold as it could get. I needed it. I couldn't find any clean clothes so I just put something on. The shirt smelled like stale whiskey and cigarette smoke but it still smelled better than what I'd had on. That damn phone was still ringing. I'd deal with that later. First I needed to eat something. I made myself a sandwich and just as I was finished eating the phone rang again. The person on the other end was only about 20-30 miles away but it felt more like a million miles. I was ashamed. I didn't want to answer the phone. I couldn't face her. But I was out of money and out of options and no matter how far I'd gone I could always count on her to be there for me. "mom?" "Brantley just come home" "I'm on my way"

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