Bitter taste of love

As in death we will part...

Two years pass, all has been well. Susan left the school due to her father's job. I was only 17 when it happened. So young, and so in love. But with what? As I look back at my life today I wish I had never met him. My heart didn't have to be ripped out of my chest. But because I let him in, it did. 

All year we were struggling with the idea of him leaving. I was okay with it, I knew he would be back. So then we got over that. We spent the previous summer in Scotland together. I should tell you, no we did not. All the same, emotionally we were bound as one. Why? I have no idea, it happened. Then school started, he was doing so good in school. His favorite thing to do was play basketball, he got three full ride scholarships for it. That was amazing news for the both of us. 

Slowly we started to drift away from each other. He started lying about where he was, but it was weird. He would say he was at the library but he was really at home, stupid right! Like why would I care if you're at home? But I should have cared. He wrecked his car in December, and after that he lost all control. I found him drinking, hanging out with a bad crowd. He became depressed, and I soon found cuts on his arms. His best friend Ken did the same. Me and Sable, his girlfriend at the time, were to the point of calling quits. We should have. The damage was too much to bare. In march he fled, and was gone for three months, not a single person knew where he was. I called, and called, he never called back. I couldn't dwell in this, it was eating me away. I met a nice guy named Chris, he helped me get over this whole ordeal. So my heart was to the breaking point, I "moved on" as in just forgot about all his crap. Then on the worst day of my life I got a call. He was home, and sounded panicked, like he was in trouble. I didn't know what to think, he was always a big drama queen. So I answered, but I honestly didn't care. No matter what he said I was never going back to him. Not after his disappearance, and not telling me anything. 

"Hello?", I said

"I didn't know who else to call!" he screamed into the phone.

"Oh my goodness! AJ? I thought you were dead!" 

"I'm sorry this has to happen-"

"What? What has to hap-" I said afraid.

Then I heard it, I'll never forget the sound. 

I left my house as fast as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. 

Finding him as I did, killed me more than it did him.

Laying there screaming. The only thing I could hear was my cries for help, but no one came. I called 911. By the time they showed up he was gone, and I was covered in his blood. Crying was the only thing I did for the next two years. I pass his grave and on some days I just sat there, I have so many questions for him. Where did you go? Was this my fault? Why? Didn't you love me? How could you give all of this up? I was never able to move on from that moment. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes with that same nightmare, his lifeless eyes, and blue body. His beauty was gone, he, colorless, and dead. I can't believe I went through that at seventeen. But I will get my answers someday. Rest in peace my blue eyed boy.    

Message from Author:

Alex, I have finally gotten my ending. Thank you for being apart of this crazy life of mine, you have impacted my life so much. Thank you to your mother as well, she helped shape me into someone who is strong and who knows what I want in life (even though that was not her intention). Thank you God for blessing me and giving me the strength to survive that time of my life.