Trust No Bitch: Part 1

Lilly Philipps

Long, gauzy dresses, peplum tops and puffy, A-line skirts. Incorporating them into her daily ensemble without attracting attention was an art that Lilly had quickly grasped a hold of. As she stood, contemplating her reflection in the mirror, she lifted up her pyjama top and let her hands fall upon her stomach. If it did turn out that something awful had happened to Cleo, the fact that Lilly had a potential motive growing inside of her (with just under 2 months until it was due to pop out) should be terrifying. But yet it didn't feel that way at all. For the first time in a long time, Lilly felt sure about something. That this baby would be the best thing to ever happen to her. She really had intended to get that abortion, right up until the moment she parked her car and made her way towards the entrance. Inside her was that same nervous energy that she felt when she was about to take an exam, her driving test, when she walked on to the stage to say her two lines at her year 6 leavers performance of the Wizard of Oz. Being apple tree number 5 was harder than it looked, and as the tallest and the skinniest of her class (and consequently the most tree-like according to her peers), she was the one who was saddled with the role.

"Lilly Philipps, say your blooming line!" Her teacher Mrs. Crook, a corpulent Brummie, had bellowed from across the other end of the hall. "If you can't do them, then we'll have to give them to someone else!"

"No, I can do them, Miss, I promise!" Lilly had pleaded, her legs feeling as if they were made of paper, about to crumble underneath her at any second, her eyes growing hot with tears. It was a big moment for 10 year old Lilly. Not only was Rafferty Lewis, the boy she'd believed to be the love of her life at the time, looking on from the wings of stage left, but her mum was watching too. Her cancer had been stage 4 at that point, and she was let out of hospital just for the night to see Lilly perform. That moment, walking out to face the audience and throwing that bloody Granny Smith, she had never thought so hard about how to lift her arm in her entire life. That moment, filled with fear and trepidation in their purest forms, was seconded only by how she felt as she left her car that day. She stumbled slightly on the concrete as she walked, wondering why she had decided to wear £70 heels to the abortion of her unborn child, only to remind herself that you could never go wrong with a pair of good shoes. She looked down at them, nude, glossy court heels on the pigeon grey of the tarmac, fearing that actually reading the sign over the front door may cause her to faint. Lilly was so fixated on her feet, that she didn't see the young, chubby faced woman who stood blocking the ramp up to the doorway, walking straight into her path.

"Excuse me!" She yelped, latching onto Lilly's arm as she passed.

"Oh, hi!" Said Lilly, startled. She experienced that transient feeling of panic, as she searched silently through the deepest corners of her mind, trying to recall whether she should know this girl or not. And then if so, where she was supposed to know her from? She didn't think she'd met the woman anywhere before, but then again, she did always come away from nights out having made about 20 new girl friends in the bathroom. Not that she could ever remember any of them the next morning. Plus, the girl holding onto her arm didn't look like the type to be getting pissed on a Friday night. So Lilly continued to flounder, all the while um-ing and ah-ing, and making an omnium gatherum of unappealing facial expressions.

"You don't know me." The girl said quickly with a smile, reading Lilly's body language; Lilly instantly relaxed, beaming at the girl.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to be rude but I thought maybe I should know you from somewhere and I panicked." The girl grinned, shaking her head.

"It's fine, happens to the best of us. My name's Rebecca. I'm here representing G.W.P." Lilly's brow furrowed. "God's Will and Protection." Rebecca elaborated.

"Oh!" Lilly blurted out, coming to the realisation that her collision with Rebecca had been no accident. "Well, I, uh, I've got an appointment in 20 minutes-", she gestured towards the door, "-so I should really get going." She pulled her handbag close to her chest and walked onwards, away from Rebecca.