These Flashing Lights(Re-Writing)

Misguided Ghost

I knew something was wrong because Jacky wasn't looking at me. Instead he fidget with his thumbs.

"What? Is this an intervention or something." I laughed but the room stayed quite.

"No Cas, this isn't an intervention." Ronnie's voice was rough and he sounded tired.

"So why the fuck are you guys here then." I asked starting to get angry.

"Castro why did Chase post a picture of you with a little girl?" Ben asked standing up and yelling.

I pretended like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"What? I wasn't even with Chase." I said yelling back at him.

"Cut the crap Cas. we have proof." Ronnie said as Danny took out his phone.

He brought it to me and I snatched it away from him and stared at the screen. Sure enough a picture posted on Chase's Instagram was the one he took of me and Lilah earlier. Underneath the photo it said. With my two favorite ladies. The only ones who aren't completely done with me. I laughed a bit causing the guys to stare at me. I couldn't cry anymore, I had nothing left in me. So i just laughed.

"Look don't get all crazy on me now. Who is that girl?" Ben said yelling at me again.

I wasn't paying attention to any of them. I was in my own world far, far away from anyone. All I could think about was how perfect Chase looked playing with Lilah. I wanted so bad to go back to when I was 15 and stupidly in love with Chase Conners. But no matter how much I pushed my feelings for Chase under the rug, someone would come and sweep them out and he would flood my mind again.

"Castro." Ben said shaking me back to reality.

I was crying hysterically and Jacky pushed Ben out of the way and held me.

"Stop yelling at her!" He yelled holding me tightly.

"Cas, please tell us why you were with Chase. Did he force you to go with him?" Danny said speaking softly.

"NO!" I yelled. "She's my daughter! Chase is her father for fucks sake!" I screamed wiping tears from my eyes.

"She is our daughter.' I said again trying to control myself.

The room grew and eerie quite and all I could hear were the whimpers that came from my mouth.

"I was pregnant with Lilah while I was going through all the court cases and all the shit that happened with Chase. She was born in the hospital in that fucking prison and they took her away from me. They asked me if I knew who the father was and of course i said it was Chase. They contacted him but he wasn't fit to raise Lilah so they put her in foster care. Julie, my friend from high school ended up adopting her and raising her with her husband John." I sighed as the boys all looked at me.

"How come you never tolled anyone?" Ronnie asked as he cradled my hand.

"I tolled dad, he knew about it before I did." I laughed. " And Ryan. He knew."

Ronnie dropped my hand and rubbed his eyes.

"Look, the only reason I never tolled you is because I knew you would feel like it was your fault. But it's not Ronnie, It's not even Chase's fault. It's mine. I've spent so many years blaming other people for my misfortunes but it's always been me." I looked up at my big brother and he wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"I love you Castro, don't ever forget that." He said kissing my forehead.

As the boys left Ben glanced over at me and smiled.

"I'm sorry." We both said in sync.

We laughed and he pressed his lips lightly on mine.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm going to make sure that I'm here for you no matter what." He said hugging me.

"Same Mr. Bruce." He chuckled and kissed me again.