I put my nose right above the white line and thought about what I was going to do. I thought about the outcome of my decision.
One try can't get you addicted..right?
"It won't hurt Jade." Said Kiki. I wasn't worried about it hurting, but hopefully my body wouldn't flip out.
So I breathed in.
I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling fan spinning around and around like I was lost in a daze, I felt like a fucking queen for about a minute. I shook my head and looked at Kiki.
"That's the shit ain't it?" She asked.
I shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"I got the cococaine from a friend."
I nodded trying to regain my thoughts. "Try it again?" Asked Kiki. I shook my head really hard.
I had an amazing feeling when that shit went up my nose, but I knew the consequences, and didn't want to take any chances. Kiki sat a red plastic cup down next to me. "I found this in my mom's closet." She said opening the bottle.
"What is it?"
"Hennessey."
"Maybe you should put it back."
"Why? It's only a sip it will not kill you. You trust me right?" She laid her hand down on my shoulder. I looked up at her. "Yes.." I mumbled.
"Well okay then, just a cup and you can go back to drinking your mom's titty milk out a bottle." She opened the bottle and poured two cups. She picked hers up and looked at me.
"Drink."
I put the cup up to my lip, and took a sip. I squeezed my eyes shut, and figured I'd better gulp the shit down and get it over with. I slammed the cup down on the table and looked at her.
"That's the shit ain't it?"
I shrugged.
"Come with me.."
She took my hand and dragged me upstairs. "Where are we going?" I asked. She didn't answer but took me into her room and then to the window. She opened it and peeked down.
Okay...fuck are we doing?
I watched her climb up onto the ledge and she pulled me up forcing me to put both my feet on ledge of the window. I looked down from the 5 story aparatment window and grabbed onto the side of the window. "Jump with me." She said looking at me. I looked at her then back down at the traffic.
"Kiki...fuck you mean jump with you? Do I look like I wanna do stunts right now?"
This time both her feet were out the window, and she looked completely ready to jump.
"If you are my friend you'd do it."
I shook my head and crawled out the window. "Come on Kiki, let's not be dare devils, I came to spend the night not make a mistake." She hesitated for a moment but got out the window. "Plus, I'm ready for bed." I said.
I was just dozing of when I heard sniffing. I kicked Kiki in her leg."Ey..is that you?" I asked. No answer, just sobs. I sat up and looked over her shoulder. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"Tell me then. Duh."
"You won't judge will you?"
"Why did you start your period in bed or something?"
She rolled her eyes. "No! It's just that..coming out the closet hasn't been easy for me." She said.
I sat there staring at nothing but the wall, trying to comprehend what she just said. "I thought you like boys?" I asked.
"I do...i mean I don't. I just feel more attracted to girls, I mean like I know I should be with a boy but then I get this feeling when I'm with a girl."
"You don't have to be with a boy. You can be with anyone you feel comfortable with."
"Easy for you to say. I hate going to church on Sundays, and Wednesday night's for choir practice."
"Have you told your mama?"
She sat up quickly, and looked at me sternly. "Hell no. And she's NEVER EVER gonna find out." She threw the blankets over her face and cried some more. "Kiki. Just be yourself. She's your mother, she will love anyway. She's always loved you."
"Did you not just hear what I said?! I said no...she can't find out. I've faked it long enough. I can keep going."
I laid back down and looked into the darkness, hoping an answer for this situation would come quickly. "When did you know that you were. Gay?" I asked.
"Why'd you sat it like that? See I never should've told you. Go ahead judge me." She cried some more. I gave her hug, because it was the only sympathetic thing I could do at the moment. "I don't care about your sexual preference. You're still my friend and nothing can change that."
"Jade...I got that feeling when I met you, then it got worse , when middle school came around, you know the whole puberty thing."
I just nodded my head and hugged her.
**
"Go away!"
"Get your ass out right now I'm tired of fighting with you every damm day to go to church, sister Ann and the other girls are waiting , now bring ya ass, before I bring it for you." Said Kiki's mom.
Kiki opened the door and flew passed her mom and out the front the door. I followed behind her and got in back seat. She slammed the door shut and put her seat belt on. "I hate her." Said Kiki. "Shes your mom." I said. She shrugged and looked out the window. Kiki's mom buckled her seat belt too, and looked back at Kiki.
"Fix your face, before I fix it for you."
967 words.
I'm asexual. 🙂🌸
