"I wanted you to know about his wife, Lucille." You looked at her shocked, this wasn't exactly what you had in mind when she said she wanted to talk.
"Why?" You questioned, wanting to know whatever the reasoning was behind it, if any.
"I see the way you look at him. Hell, anyone with eyes can see it. You just need to be careful." Your eyes widened, a crimson blush spread through your cheeks.
You and Ellie were folding clothes in the laundry room when she decided it was time to talk.
"So what exactly are you trying to say, El?" You asked, picking up a pair of Dwight's pants and inspecting how, even though it had been washed three times, it still looked dirty.
"There are just some things you need to know so you don't get your hopes up. I'm not entirely sure yet why he gets soft around you but he was the same way with his wife." She pauses and gives you a long look that made you think there was something on your face.
"His wife had cancer. She died and he's been alone ever since. He tries to fill the void with more women but I saw him a couple of months ago in his office, he was burning a flower. It was a daisy. Lucille's favorite. It broke my heart." She stopped again and seemed to zone out for a moment in thought, as if recalling what she saw.
"Anyway, one day when Lucille and I were sitting on her porch around midnight drinking wine, Negan came home. He didn't say anything to Lucille and she didn't say anything to him. I found that interesting so I asked her about it when he was inside. She told me he has a mistress. She said that's where he had been all night. I couldn't believe it. They loved each other and she knew he had another woman? She knew. I told her I had to leave and when I got home I laid in bed processing what I would do if I knew Kale had a mistress." You had both stopped folding your clothes and instead you sat intently listening to her.
"When Lucille got sick, he let the mistress go and told Lucille he wanted her. That he would be with her until the end, and he did. He watched her die." Your brain was having a hard time figuring out what to make of this newfound information. On one hand, Negan had wives so it was clear that his old habits died pretty hard. On the other, it made you wonder if Negan was only devoted to you, if he would get bored of you eventually or just want more. You weren't sure if you would be able to handle that if it happened.
You both resumed folding clothes.
"I just wanted you to know, if he did it once, he has opened the door to do it again." Ellie told you in a quiet voice and after that, neither of you said anything until it was time for your lunch.
You decided today you wanted to eat alone in your room.
You were about midway through your meal when someone knocked on the door.
"Come in."
Negan swung the door open and stepped inside. Seeing him again after what had happened yesterday and then what you heard earlier made you have mixed feelings.
He didn't say anything, just sat on your bed and stared into your eyes. You looked like you were both searching for something but couldn't quite figure out what.
You set aside your food and scooted closer to him on the bed. You looked him in the eyes and watched as his flicked down to your lips and back up, making him part his lips ever so slightly.
At the same time, you both crashed into each other. Not painfully, but with a want and need that you had both been craving. His teeth nipped your lips and you opened them in invitation. He pushed you backward onto the bed and moved over the top of you, settling between your thighs. It felt as if a tension was being released and you suddenly felt so good you didn't care what he did to you.
His hand moved in between your bodies and found his belt. He undid it in a swift motion that you didn't believe was possible. He began to unbutton your jeans and tug them down.
You pushed on his chest.
"Negan wait."
He sat up and stared down at you.
"We...we can't." You whispered, turning your head away from him.
A laugh bubbled up from his chest and it was almost like he was mocking you.
He threw himself off of you in a rage, buckling his pants and leaving.
You laid back on your bed and covered your face with your hands, letting the first couple of tears fall.
Was this what you wanted?
♔
It'll get better I promise :)
So, what should you do? Talk it out with Negan? I think you need to get out for a bit. Maybe convince him to let you go on a run? ;)
Wonder who you'll see on this run ;P
