"My mouth is dry
With words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why
We live like this"
♔
Here you were. Torn between giving in to every desire you've ever had since you saw Negan for the first time, and leaving once again to stop something that neither of you want right now.
This whole charade was getting tiresome and at this point you decided to put your hand out to stop him.
"Negan, we can't keep doing this. I already told you how you can have me and you haven't done that yet. You need to stop confusing me by kissing one of your wives and then immediately after, coming after me like a dog in heat. It's disconcerting and I hate it." Your words put a frown on his face and his eyes stared a hole through your head.
You figured he would leave or tell you to get out, but instead he came and dragged you toward the couch to sit down. He stopped and rubbed a hand over his face before looking at you, making your heart rate pick up.
"I know." Is all he said, making you narrow your eyes in question and confusion.
"What?" You responded, not quite sure this moment was happening. Maybe you were getting somewhere with him.
"You don't understand. If I get rid of my wives, that undermines my power. They'll start to see me as weak and it'll be like the spark that ignites the fire. I can't afford to let that happen right now. Not with Rick and his band of nitwits plotting against me. I can't afford...to show them any weakness. Especially something they can use as leverage." His explanation made a lot more sense than you realized and suddenly you felt a little selfish to put him in a position like you did. His eyes bore into yours with an emotion that you could only describe as longing. You knew he wanted you and yet he held himself back, also knowing he could never really have you.
"Okay, I understand but you can't keep doing shit like this. I hate this back and forth crap, it's exhausting," you said, exasperated. His head nodded and his lips pressed in a firm line.
"There's something I don't quite get though..." you trailed off and watched as Negan cocked an eyebrow in question. That threw you off balance and for a moment you only looked at him with a heated gaze, feeling a sense of longing as well.
You shook it off and continued speaking, "I don't get why you let the fact of having multiple women as trophy wives make you powerful. It should be your merciless nature, not the fact that you have arm candy that other men want. They should long to be you, with or without the amount of wives you have. Are women now a source of power? If so, I was not aware of this is I suddenly am thinking of a career change." The last comment made Negan chuckle and a part of you really did feel power in that. Making him smile was going to be a top priority from now on.
Negan nodded in acknowledgement and stared at you again for a long, hard moment. He breathed in deeply and smiled knowingly at you.
"You really want me all to yourself, huh princess?" At his words, he eased closer to you, resting his hand on your thigh and you sprung away from the couch. The movement made you sway on your feet but you regained composure and backed away from him.
"Real funny Negan. I'm not falling for your charm right now. Not until you get your shit together and decide what you want to do. Not just with me, but also with this Rick problem and anything else that you're uncertain about." You dropped your hands in defeat and opened his door, stepping out.
You paused in the doorway and turned your head to the side to speak over your shoulder, "When you do that, then come find me."
♔
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you hate me. Will you forgive me?" Ellie pleaded, folding laundry next to you and rambling on about how she was sorry. You sighed, seriously annoyed at the level of tolerance you were losing for this girl.
"Ellie, for christ sake I forgive you, now please shut up." You said, completely straightfaced and not stopping your clothes folding.
She squealed and hugged you out of the blue. This made you tense up because you didn't really like when people touched you...people that weren't Negan of course.
Where in the hell had that thought come from?
You shook your thoughts away and hugged Ellie back, simultaneously pushing her off.
"Alright, we can catch up in the dining hall. Let's just focus on the clothes, okay?" Ellie nodded eagerly at your suggestion and didn't talk for the remainder of your work time.
On your way to the dining hall, you both passed by Negan. You stared at him wide-eyed, wondering what he would say. It was very anticlimactic. He didn't say a word to either of you and Ellie's brows furrowed, noticing his silence. You shook your head to signify not wanting to talk about it and you both wordlessly continued on your way.
Around 3 a.m. that night, you were laying in bed and someone opened your bedroom door. You jerked up in surprise and reached for the knife you kept tucked under your pillow. You recognized Negan's tall frame at the last second and your body relaxed.
"Negan, what are you-" He cut you off with the press of his lips, his body melting onto yours on the bed. He pushed his erection between your legs and you could feel it, even through the covers. You opened your mouth to protest and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside, caressing your mouth in a heated embrace.
After a few more minutes of kissing and rubbing, he stopped and lay beside you. His body was far bigger than yours and you could both barely fit on the bed together.
He squirmed around trying to get comfortable and finally he just stood up. You were about to ask what the hell he was doing, but he did something that shocked you. He flung the blanket off and slid his arms beneath your legs and your back, carrying you bridal style out of the door. He walked to his room and first kicked open his door to his office, then the one to his bedroom. He laid you down on his king size bed and crawled under the covers next to you.
You tried not to read too much into this and fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.
♔
I don't think Negan knows the meaning of "come find me when you sort shit out."
But whatever, now he's being all protective and cute...ig? We'll just have to wait and see what happens.
Ciao! ♔
