"There's a game that can grant you your wishes ...The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose."
-Alice-
16-year-old Arisa has always been afraid of being different. After being betrayed and kicked from her school cl...
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"I'm going overseas." I looked up in a haze at the man standing in front of me. The grown up version of the little boy I once knew. The weight of my words hung heavily around us.The air around us was emotional.
"Why?" he whispered coarsely. He sat there lost in the torrent vortex of my words. A man forever tormented by a past that could not be undone... The magnitude of what I had done weighed heavily on me.
Small parts of our story... What we were and how shattered we both came to be.
His tall lanky self who decided that we should be friends, after seeing me so delighted over childish silly games.
His hysterical crying and claims that he regretted being friends with me. The end of our friendship...
Yes, only I could release him from the past that had been haunting him.
"I never did tell you..." "I promised myself when we were young...never to make friends." "I knew that anyone I was friends with...Would be in danger of being bullied."
He flinched at those words... His eyes red as he stared at me, "Enough Please...I don't want to remember..."
"I am terrified that the memories will come back to me."
I knew how he felt, how a memory replays in one's mind...If he doesn't resolve it, it will never end. It will never go away...Just like a broken record , repeating the same old tune. Taking his hand, I gripped it tightly, silently begging that he wouldn't shut me out.
"Still I took the chance because I reasoned with myself..." "That we were in different classes...No one would realize we were friends." "I lied to myself because I was lonely." "I wanted friends..."
"It wasn't your fault...What happened to the both of us."
"We both kept things from each other for too long...I am finally coming clean with you, with the things they said."
I thought about it for a very long time... What they had said back then... Things that you didn't know... When they used to say I used money to enter school and club. That was how I got friends. What was mirrored in their eyes was an unrealistic perspective of me but I didn't fight it. Resulting in self- hate and destruction.
To me, I was not who I wished to be.
I wanted to become someone else.
I never shared it with you because I did not want to be a burden.
I felt guilty for failing to see that you were suffering from all the rumors surrounding us.
While believing that keeping things to myself will protect you... You were likewise doing the same for me. I know now that you begged them desperately to stop hurting me.
I never thought that I will get into one because of my horrible grades.
Years of being bullied had caused me to have a negative outlook on standing out from the crowd.
I forced myself to hide because I didn't want to be different.
Those days were hard...
Was it right for me to stay part of the crowd?
Just to live?
What is life for it to be worth living?
I only applied because my twin persuaded me to give it a try.
I couldn't believe when I got the acceptance letter to be honest.
I know... A lot of people are going to say... You brought the degree. I found it ironic... Being that I promised myself... That I was not going to use money to buy my way into life. After what I faced
I know...If I rejected it, I can prove that they were wrong. I don't break my promise again.
Will I be happy though?
If I don't accept this offer, I will never do what I love.
After all, What is happiness? I want to be happy.
Your life matters.
My life matters to me.
I found out. We are all born differently. Everyone life is theirs to make.
I came to a decision. No matter what they say... Past or future.
You have to move on. Don't let the past define who you are.
I am ready to move on. This is farewell from me.
Forgive yourself
Author Note: The thoughts are based on me slightly.
I am going overseas to study.
I was haunted by the past for a very long time... Lately these sort of thoughts have been passing my mind as I make my decision.
After much thought...
I will say...
Stay true to your dreams:)
-Also this a later part in the story...
I moved it forward because of my decision in life.
Guess the people in the chapter?
Thank you for always reading my story and I will update it soon!
