Beautiful Now [#wattys2017]✔

Now I guess you're my shoulder

Getting to the house I'm now supposed to call home, was a blur. My mind was just filled with horrible images of my childhood. I just really don't want a repeat of it. I don't want to be like mom as harsh as that sound. She was a wonderful mother but the worse enemy to her, was herself. She let a man dominate her, her heart, and her soul, something I would never allow when I saw my father raise his hands towards her.

I would never allow a man that close to me into my heart. I would never allow them into the barricade I have made in my heart. I would never turn out like my mother. I won't go in happy and come out dead. I will always remain benevolent as much as I could.

I walked into his house and straight into my room,ignoring his calling from the living room. I immediately went straight into the shower,with my clothes on but shoes off. I had no strength to do all that I just wanted to sit in the water.

I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around it and placed my chin on top it.

Then I let it all out. I tried holding it in but I couldn't. I couldn't be strong no matter how much I tried because he made me weak. I hated sleeping in the dark cause all it reminded me of was the basement. I couldn't sleep on a bed because it reminded me of the way he choked me and tied me up and starved me for days on end  it reminded me that no one was here. That only darkness was here. And the darkness scared me because I was vulnerable to it because I couldn't see anything.

I had to keep my door locked at all times to keep him out, the monster that is always reminding me he's here.

I cried until I couldn't even remember why I was. I cried till the salty water mixed with the water from the shower. I think I cried so loud that the next few minutes I just felt his warmth. I struggled to get out of his hold, to hide my pain, to hide my vulnerable side, to hide myself behind the walls of my heart. But I didn't. I welcomed the warmth his arms brought as it wrapped around my wet body as he rubbed up and down my arms. I didn't want to but I embraced it.

After about 15 minutes I finally realized what I've done so I pushed him away and got out of the bathroom connected to my bedroom and grabbed a towel to wrap around my self. I turned around to see a worried set of eyes on me.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I wasn't but I nodded anyways. He made a step to come towards me but I moved away. His eyes immediately hardened.

"I'm tired. Come to my room after getting dressed," he turned to walk away while I just nodded feebly.

After getting dressed and making sure the dam was tight with no holes I stepped out of my room and into his. When I entered, he was laying with his right knee up and his left arm behind his head as his right hand played with a small red Lego airplane.

I blew out a sigh and went to sit down next to him on his bed.

"Lay down. That's the point of these....pillow talks," he said as he kept playing with the plane. I nodded gently and laid down with both hands on too of my belly. Mr.kim turned to his side so now he was facing me with his face resting on his left palm.

"This was the first thing I ever made with my mom," he held it out to me.

"It was my fifth birthday and I was so excited cause I finally got to spend time with her and just my dad. No work, no worrying about money, just us as a family. It was one of the best days ever," he sighed as he placed it on the night stand beside him and then turning back to me.

"Where is she now?" I croaked, my voice cracks from crying.

"She died during labor, along with my baby sister," he said as he laid down next to me, placing his head into the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry," I said as I hesitantly patted on his head, feeling his soft plush hair under my fingers.

"It's okay," he said as he brought a hand up and removed a strand of hair on my face leaving a trail of fire from it.

"What happened earlier?" He asked as my breathing hitched.

"Nothing," I said as I saw him frown.

"Don't lie to me," he said as I stayed quiet.

I turned to him,"I don't want to talk about it," as he nodded in understanding.

"I'm here for you Soojung.let me get to know you because I WANT to get to know you," he said as he hovered above me. I nodded meekly.

"Good," he said as he leaned down and placed a kiss to my cheek making my eyes widened and my cheeks burn.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Comfort," he said,"it seems like you really needed it," he continued as I nodded.

I let out a small laugh," you don't comfort people like that. You do it like this," I said as I turned onto my side and hugged him. He stiffened and didn't respond so I took that as my cue to pull away but before I could he squeezed me closer to him, his face in the crook of my neck as he placed a chaste kiss on it making me shiver with delight.

I quickly pulled away before dirty thoughts started to fill my mind.

"Tomorrow come to work with me. Be my personal assistant," he said as I looked at him, astonished.

"What? Why?" I said and sat up in an Indian style as he lay there and stared at me.

"I just thought it would be nice to have an extra pair of hands to help with the paperwork and besides, wouldn't sitting get in the mansion here all day be boring?" He smirked. That did make sense and it was boring by myself.

I guess it wouldn't hurt.

"Okay, sure," I replied with a smile.

"Okay," he whispered.

"I'll go to bed now."

"Okay," then I got up and into my room.

A/N: I know it might seem bland but it getting to the good parts. Anyways happy valentine's day😄😄  comment and vote please. I love reading your guys' comments