After You're Gone -PHAN-

After You're Gone

"Dan, you can't just lie on the couch the rest of your life!" Louise yelled. But that's all I wanted to do. Everyone had moved on from Phil's death. Everyone tells me to let it go. Because it was nearly three years ago. But I can't, you can't just forget your best friend. You can't just forget how they die either. I remember it fresh in my mind. The red light, the speeding truck, the fresh blood that followed. The way I fell to my knees trying to help him up. The ambulance, the x-rays of broken ribs, the large machines he was hooked to for three days. The heart rate monitor going flat and the heartbreaking ringing that came with it. That was the most painful memory. The doctors coming to me, saying my best friends life was taken. But they didn't need to tell me. I knew already. I hadn't left his side in the hospital since he had gone in. I had memorized every word said at the funeral, every word engraved into the stone that meant he wasn't coming back. That he would never come back. I curled up into a ball and let tears roll down my face. Louise and Tyler had made a deal to stay with me at my place. To keep me company. But the more I tried to move on, the more I felt alone. "C'mon Dan! Cheer up!" Tyler's voice was much more respectful then Louis's. Mainly because she thought it was a bit pitiful that I still missed Phil. Tyler sat me up and gave me a hug. "C'mon buddy, why don't we go do something fun?" He asked. I looked up at him and tried to speak, but I couldn't. I shook my head 'yes' instead. "That's the spirit!" He said, helping my up off the couch. "Go get dressed, we can take a walk in the park." I started walking to my room to get dressed. All I had worn for the past three months were a pair of shorts and my fuzzy llama hat. As I walked into my room, I saw the tall-ish mirror that had collected dust over the years. I looked at myself in the mirror after wiping it off. I could clearly see my ribs and other bones. I knew exactly why too. I would eat one, maybe two, things a week. And even those weren't full meals. After putting on some jeans and a sweatshirt. I started to walk out of my room, but got distracted by the room in front of me, Phil's room.

Tyler's POV

I started putting things in a bag like my wallet, water bottles and an extra pair of glasses (In case mine broke) I looked over at Louise. "You commin'?" I asked. She looked up at me and shook her head 'no'. She wasn't as stubborn as Dan might think. Every night when Dan's about to go to sleep. She clears his room of any pills, guns, or anything harmful in general. About once a week she gets advice from the suicide hotline on what to do to make sure Dan doesn't get too depressed. She really cares about him. I hope Dan knows that there are still people that care about him. I walked toward the hallway Dan's room was down because he was being oddly quiet. I saw Dan staring as Phil's bedroom door. I wanted to stop him, to prevent him from being too sad. But maybe he needs this. Maybe he needs just one more glance of what brought him joy before.

Dan's POV

I stood there, with my hold on the door knob, not moving a muscle. I couldn't think if I should go in or not. Is this what I really want? I thought to myself. Do I really want to bring back memories of the good times, only for them to be destroyed again? "Dan, time to go!" I heard Tyler call out. I turned my head towards him. After a few seconds of staring at him, I let go of my hold on what little sunshine I had before. I followed Tyler out the door. Once we got to the park, we sat on a bench to talk for a bit. "Beautiful day outside isn't it?" Tyler tried to strike up conversation, but to no avail. "How about we go get something to eat?" Tyler tried to speak up again. I shrugged and walked with him to the nearest coffee shop. As we arrived at Starbucks I ordered a salted caramel latte. About ten minutes after we got our drinks, a sixteen-ish looking girl ran to me and gave me a hug crying. "DAN!!!" She yelled. After the deadly tight hug she backed off a little. "Oh my God!! Everybody thinks you're dead!!" She half yelled. "What?" Was the first thing I had said in over a month. "Well, since Phil died a few years ago, you've been really inactive online. Since that's the only way people get to talk to you normally, everybody just thought you had died." I tried to restrain tears at the mention of Phil's name. The girl had asked for a selfie and for me to sign something. I declined the selfie but gladly signed her copy of "Dan And Phil Go Outside" After she left, I rested my head on the table to cry. Tyler noticed this and decided it was time to go home. When we got home Louise had gone somewhere and Tyler had to run to the store. "You sure you're gonna be okay here?" I shook my head yes as he walked out the door. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked into Phil's room and went into his bedside drawer. I took out his prescribed medication and popped the top. I has also gotten a bottle of alcohol from the kitchen, just so it wouldn't set.