Live or Die.

Starting Fresh (Part 1)

Lois P.O.V

It's been around 24 hours since Molly died, and things have been nothing but awkward... I had tried multiple times to start conversations, but I only ever received half-hearted grunts on murmurs. The 5th time I tried Tom got mad at me. "Would you just shut up Lois! I'm sick of hearing you go on about stuff that no one cares about! Can't you just be normal and mourn Molly quietly?!" He said. I didn't argue back because I knew he was feeling crap, so I shut up and trudged along tiredly. I can't help it!I thought. My way of mourning is talking about something completely different, he KNOWS I don't like thinking of death! I still didn't say anything as I knew how hard it was...

~6 hours later~

We were sitting around a small fire that Nat made, trying to keep warm. It was  all dark and creepy, and a load of trees are near us, so we keep hearing rustling and twigs falling. We couldn't be bothered to walk any further though, it'd been a traumatic day for all of us, we just wanted to rest our feet and do nothing. Of course for, that was quite hard, so I walked around in circles, did cartwheels and handstands, unable to keep still. "Lois,"
"Yeah?"
"You've been holding that handstand for like 2 minutes now! How are you doing it?" Nat asked. "I go- well, I used to go- to gymnastics," I tell him. "Wait, so can you like do a back flip?" He said excitedly.
"Yeah," I said, and I did a neat back tuck.
"Ok, that's kinda cool," he said, awed. I laughed because people don't normally appreciate my tumbling. I told him this and thanked him, because I didn't get many people complimenting me. "Why?" Leah asked me.
"Because of where I came from," I told her. Her and Nat looked at me expectantly. "Fine," I sighed, because only Tom, Joe and Molly knew of my past. "My family was a mess," I started, picking at my nails. "My dad left when I was 5, and mom was never around. She was out every-single-night, and was never there in the morning. Sometimes she's stay away for days at a time, either in the pub or with some guy. My big brother Jake, who was 13 at the time, had to look after me and my siblings, ya know, cooking for us and putting us to bed, but he wasn't really bothered. He never cared about us, just like our dad. He didn't try to get us to school, he loved bunking off anyway! He only ever gave us easy meals, like sandwiches, that slowly became bread and butter, then slowly became just bread. He stole everything he got, and by the time he was 14 he was doing drugs and that. He'd bring his friends home and they'd trash the house and scare my siblings, then they'd be off again. Then, when he was 15, he left. I saw him packing a bag at night after everyone was in bed. Me, only 7, asked him what he was doing, and he replied 'I'm going away for a bit Lo, I'm going to live, you'll have to be the leader now' he kissed my head and whispered 'you'll get away someday Lois. Your not like the rest of us, your something special. You'll do something great with your life, but, promise you won't forget me?' He seemed desperate and sad, and I realise now he just wanted someone to love him too. "I'll never forget," I remember saying smiling. He said "thank you Lois, I will always love you,". Then he left. I watched him out the window as he walked down the street. "I'm so proud of you baby sis!" He shouted, then ran away. Mom was fuming the next morning. She was crying too, saying how bad of a mother she was, and if only she'd tried harder her boy would still be here. I told her it wasn't too late, and she could be a good mommy if she stayed, but she slapped me, screaming at me for "cheek" and "if only I'd been the daughter she'd always wanted, this wouldn't have happened". You see, mom always wanted a sweet, innocent, beautiful little daughter, who would obsess over tiny pink handbags and fluffy kittens, but I'm the complete opposite. I'm not sweet to anyone apart from people I like, and I know that. I'm not innocent at all, in fact I'm forever in trouble at school, ever since I was little, until I stopped going when I was 5. I'm not beautiful, even though I wish I was! When I was little I hated the colour pink, and insisted every item of clothing I put on was either purple, green or blue. Although I quite like pink now, but it too late to tell mom cause she already LEFT! Yeah, she left 2 weeks later. I was left to look after my 2 younger brothers. Daniel, who was 5 at the time, and baby Alvin, who was 3. I don't know how, but for 3 months we managed on our own. We ended up in care after that. I'd tried to get us back to school, and when they found out we were carted off. Me and Daniel managed to get places at the same home, but Alvin had so go to a special baby house. It was ok though because we got to visit him nearly every day. And he loved it where he was because he had a proper adult who knew how to care for him. He got adopted after only a month. I protested and tried to make him stay, thinking it would mean I would never see him again, but then they explained I would still see him at least twice a week. I still kicked off, saying it was sad enough to be stuck here without him, and if I only saw him twice a week I would run away. They got worried by this, cause even though I'd only been there 1 month, I'd fought with 2 girls because they were horrible to Daniel. So in the end I got my own way, and we got to see Alvin 4 days a week. That was until his stupid new mom complained that him seeing us upset him, and we were instantly reduced to visiting 1 day a week. It had been 6 months now, so I was 8, and understood more about what was happening in our lives, so when I heard Alvin's mom and dad taking to our social worker Laurie about moving to London, I burst into the room and threw a fit. Daniel heard me shouting and came running. I yelled to him how they were carting our little brother away from us and he suddenly started shouting to! He never shouted, but he knew this was wrong, and he would stand up for what he thought was right. I kicked Alvin's dad in the balls and he doubled over in pain. Then when they tried to calm Daniel down by holding him, you know like hugging him, he screamed at the top of his lungs. That's when they really got panicked. They managed to get him out, but had a bigger struggle with me,"
"What a surprise!" Joe laughed.
"Haha, anyway," I carried on, "I carried on shouting how it wasn't fair and kicking, but my care home manager Steven came, picked me up, and took me out of the room. He was the strongest man you would ever meet! 3 workers couldn't get me out together, but old Steve came along and simply swung me over his shoulder and carried me out. I tried to make him stop, but there was no point, he just carried me into the living room. But before I was out the room I shouted to Alvin's new dad "I hope your balls fall off!" And that made all the lads snicker and girls squirm."
"I was then took through the whole talk of How-violence-isn't-the-answer and all that crap, then they went off to discuss what Alvin's future would be. I can remember the suspense of waiting for the news. The look on Daniels face was heartbreaking. He may have only been 5, but he had such an amazing heart that he loved his little bro, so he cried his tiny soul out when we found out one of the few people we loved was being snatched from us. I was more full of regret though, because when our older brother was looking after us I never really bothered with little Ally, but in the time I'd had to take care of him, my unloving heart started to fall in love with him. I regretted all those years of blocking him out, of never once giving him a hug. That's what made me realise how much of a happier life he would have with his new family. He never got the love he deserved. Neither did Daniel. I suddenly ran into the room where Alvin's mom and dad were and begged them to take Daniel as well. They were quite taken aback, and said "Darling, after the performance earlier... of course we will!" Shocked, I started crying, thanking them. I honestly thought it would take a lot more convincing. They understood why I was in this state. "We understand, and your a very brave girl for letting your brothers go" they said. I noticed just how kind they were, and I knew how happy my brothers were going to be with them. Even after I kicked off at them just 1 hour ago they were still so kind and gentle. It's was the kind of love I'd always wanted for myself, but I knew I had to let my brothers have it...

Anyway, I ended up staying in care until now, when I'm in a messed up world and I have absolutely no idea where my family are at." I sighed. Talking about my past wasn't easy. "There must have been good times though!" Leah said, giving me a small smile. I think she felt sorry for me, but everyone always does, that's why I never tell people about my life, I get sick of the sympathy. But, I accepted her kindness because I could see she meant it. "Yeah, it wasn't always bad. Like I said, birthdays were a good time where everyone was happy! And sometimes we went away for weekends to places like York and stuff, and we went to Scotland for 5 days, which was surprisingly fun! But the best ones are when we  go to Spain! We go to Tenerife for 1 week once a year, all of us. And one proper good time last year, me, and some other kids my age, like Micheal, Aaron, Lucy, Dawn, Agnes and Leon all went to America! We went to Orlando Florida! We got the money from a funding company that donates cash to orphanages and care homes. We still had to save up for two years though! The little 'uns were annoyed, but our social workers had agreed that we deserved a nice break from the drama we all had going on. It's alright for young 'ens, they never have to deal with stuff cause they don't understand it, and they always get adopted quicker that us anyway. It's ok though, the home. The strangers you once got shoved in with soon become closer than family, and although it can get sad and annoying, it's no bad for a care home." They all sat in silence, not really knowing how to respond to my life story. "Wow," Nat said,
"It is pretty awesome," I grinned, "anyways, seen as I've told my twisted story, you lot have to tell yours, no matter how embarrassing or sad!"
"Fine, Joe, you go next," Tom commanded.
"O-ok" Joe replied.

Hey guys! Sorry for not posting in a while it took a while to work out Lois' life story! I enjoyed doing it though :)

More chapters should be coming  explaining the backgrounds of the rest of the characters ;)

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Bye Xx