Between the Lines✔ [COMPLETED]

[16] A Boldfaced Lie... or Three

Malory

"You're incompetence as an actor makes me suicidal."

Suicidal.

It's been a while since I've used that word. 

"Oh please, don't kill yourself and fulfil all my wildest dreams," Kyle says, his tone is drenched in sarcasm as he looks at me pointedly.

It's been almost an hour of rehearsing lines and Kyle can't get a single thing right. I'm bored. I'm frustrated. I'm panicking. I'm concerned. I'm confused. I'm tired. I want to go home. I want to lie in bed and not get up. I want to sit around and do nothing. I want to fade from existence. 

Fulfil my wildest dreams?

Is that what he really thinks?

That I should kill myself?

"Here we go again," I hear Ron mutter to Olivia. They're both sitting in the front row again. Olivia turns to him to stifle a laugh.

Olivia... how could you laugh at that?

"Go to hell," I tell Kyle. 

"Been there, done that. I'm not the one planning to kill myself so I won't be the one going to hell," he remarks.

"Mrs Cole," I say frustrated, turning to her.

"I'm listening," she says, obliviously.

"Maybe you should focus on the other actors for a while. Standing here and watching this buffoon suffer from not knowing anything is giving me more of a headache than this whole cooperation thing."

She raises a brow at me. "You're insisting that we leave the perfection of a protagonist till the end? How do you think that's going to work out?"

I feel my anxiety welling up. I shut my eyes and try to keep myself as calm as possible. 

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

"I'll help him," I say. "I'll work with him."

"What do you have to say to that?" She asks my co-star.

He turns from our teacher to me. "Can we do this without killing each other?"

We're supposed to be cooperating, no?

Cooperating doesn't mean I'll stop insulting you or wanting to beat you up. 

No promises on any attempts at murder, Kyle Davidson.

Suddenly I feel pushed off the edge and I yell, "I want to pass, Davidson, and I want to pass well!"

My grades are all I have. Extracurricular are all I have. Distractions are all I have. If I lose them or if I lose something that throws me remotely off balance I'll crumble. My grades need to stay high. I need to keep to my schedule. I need to do things to keep myself from falling apart and having a break down.

Looks like I can't exactly help myself right now, though.

It takes me a few minutes to realise how loud I'd yelled. I glance at Kyle.

"Whoa, okay. Okay," he says in a low voice. 

He's worried –and I can see it written all over his face. I can see him asking me what's wrong without actually asking.

But I can't tell him. I can't tell him. 

My eyes move to Mrs Cole –wearing an expression of disbelief at my outburst- and then over to the students in the auditorium. They finally arrive at the sight of Ron and Olivia. The room goes silent. Too silent. Everyone's looking at me. I feel a prickly sensation all over my skin. My hands begin to shake uncontrollably. A chill runs up my spine. I clasp my hands together almost aggressively to keep their trembling from being noticed by anyone. I fidget with my fingers for a moment before turning back to Kyle.