Secrets (TVD)

The Beginning

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Have you ever wondered what it's like to not know how you feel. Having complicated thoughts even though you shouldn't, since some situations should be simple? Because that's me right now. I'm confused and am feeling just a tad bit crazy. At 3:00 am while I'm lying in my bed the only single insanely distracting thought in my head was, Kol. I miss him, not in a longing way but in more of a comforting way. I don't want him to come crawling to me but I like the comfort I feel with him. What is wrong with me, I don't care, not in the way that makes me want someone's presence. I cared about him long ago, that was our tragedy. I always felt that he held back as if he didn't want me, and so I ignored it. I don't know what I mean to him right now but he had admitted something.

Sighing in frustration I roughly throw the covers back and stand up heading to the kitchen. We were staying in a fancy hotel so everything was quite modern, which I liked. Opening the fridge I grab a blood bag and a then the cupboard for a glass to pour it in.

Half way through my drink I hear the second bedroom door creek open. Kol's door. He walks into the kitchen wearing a pair of sweatpants, only. I have difficulty averting my gaze but eventually do so, staring at his face as he makes his way to the fridge grabbing his own blood bag and a glass before sitting down in front of me. He makes no eye contact and I'm grateful for that but he eventually clears his throat and speaks up.

"I uh, I'm sorry....for my behavior." He says and his chocolate eyes avert to my own, for a moment we just stare at each other.

"For what?" I ask genuinely confused.

He sighed and reached out for my hand, taking it, I was going to pull back but he tightened his grip. "For being an ass." He chuckled and I raised a brow.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch." I said with a snort followed my a chuckle of my own.

"The car I'm almost positive needs gas, but I'm not quite sure how to go about that..." Kol said with furrowed brows that made him look exceptionally cute. I raised a brow again and groaned, "You really need to learn more twenty first century things."

He scowled, "So sorry, I was stuck in a box for only about a century." he said sarcastically.

"I know, I'll teach you."

"Teach me what?" He asks arrogantly and I deadpan.

"Mmm dont flatter yourself." I say snatching my hand away, standing up from the stool and beginning to walk away when Kol's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist pulling me into his muscular and naked chest.

"Tsk,tsk,tsk, don't be rude darling." he whispered huskily into my ear and I had to prevent shivers from going down my spine, I quickly flipped us, holding his neck and smashed him against the wall, "I can say the same for you."

In a second he flipped us again, this time I was against the wall, "I think I need to teach you a thing or two." he said smirking.

"Well....." I draw out leaning towards his lips, looking straight into his eyes and I heard his breath hitch a bit.
Just as I was seconds away from kissing him, I pulled away and brought them to his ear.

"We'll see baby." With that I vamp sped out of there and into my bedroom, not waiting to see his reaction.

He grows on me every time I see him and it's weird. Perhaps a thousand years ago this was all happening but uncertainty and immaturity got in the way. I might have always been attracted to him but I never attempted to be with him because I was scared. Other than that. I wasn't one who looked for love but I was young and I did crave it. What I had once with Julian was foolish but I cared for him, I did love him. What's going on with Kol feels more real, maybe it's because I've seen too much to believe in a fairytale but he also makes things feel easier in a sense, not as bad.

I wonder if he remembers how he felt back then, in the beginning.

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