Smiled by day,
Cried by night.
Sadian Furtase is depressed. Pretty straight forward huh? She always smiled, when one day, she stopped. She gave up.
"If all your gonna do is hurt me, then why don't you break me. Why is it only piece by piece? Can't i...
The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke The girl who always laughed, cried That girl that never stopped trying, gave up She dropped her fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek and she whispered to herself, "I can't do this anymore." And she slit her wrists 10 times. That was just ten reasons why she was imperfect. "Fuck." Her boyfriend that loved her, called her a slut. Her best friend called her a bitch. Her mom called her a whore. Her dad called her a cunt. Her brother called her a motherfucker. Her sister called her a asshole. Oh, that's not even a quarter of the reasons why. Every time her head said, "You're perfect," She heard, "Bitch, you ugly." It was like the devil and the angel fighting on her shoulders, that never seemed to go away. The weight on her shoulders were tears but, she blamed them. The angels side was a bit heavier because it was full of lies. So far, Devil-100 Angel-0 Can she be anymore imperfect? Yes. She smiled. She pretended. She lied. She was a horrible person. Every night she would cry herself to sleep, and when she woke up, the weight was still there. "Can I make it go away?" She walked up the steps and walked in. When the door opened you could hear, the little bell ring. "Ah, Sadian, how are you?" The lady at the front desk asked. She smiled and laugh. "Oh, Shanon you are so funny! I told you you pronounce it Sadian. Well I'm doing good, how about yourself?" "Absolutely magnificent. I just picked out my wedding dress." You guessed it, she was 54 and getting married. Well, it's never too late to pursue your dreams. "How's that hunt finding a new man," She asked. "Going good Shanon, I'm going to head into Gregson's office. See you later!" I waved and walked into my doctors office. Therapist's office. I gave him a hug and sat down. At this time a day my mom would send me with my step dad/therapist so I would get out of her hair. But it was good for me too, she liked to beat me, I mean I deserve it but not by her. "Ok Sadian, go ahead and look at those quotes on the wall." He directed me. I looked and I saw 4 depressing quotes and 1 happy quote. "There's a knife on the table, take it and slash the ones that are bad."
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I took the knife off the table and positioned myself in front of all the quotes. I stood in front on the happy one and sliced it in all directions. He sighed and spoke softly, "You're getting worse." He sighed once more and hugged me. He let go and put something in his chair. I grabbed the knife and positioned it over my wrist. One cut, Two cut, Three cut, Four, Five cut, Six cut, Seven cut, More. I smiled myself and listened to the blood drip on the floor. He heard and looked. And then he, started, started yelling about how he hates me, and how I'm such a screw up. Pretty accurate. I mean have you seen my face? Have you seen my life? I am a damn old mistake that is here for eternity. I want to leave and I try, but I can't. I'm known as the girl who always... Smiled at day. Cried at night.
