Falling

3

The Party

I entered through the door, and was overwhelmed by the chaos that was ensuing. A 'beer fight' was taking place on a table top (a game in which two actual teenagers were naked but for boxer shorts, throwing beer cans at each other while everyone else was gathered around the table chanting and screaming their lungs out in support of either participant. It was as horrifying as it fucking sounds). A couple was having sex on the couch, people were dancing and badly singing to Wonderwall, it was all just insane. How do people have fun like this? Then I remembered - Everyone was completely fucked. Half their brain cells were probably gone by this point. Up until then, I had forgotten the person who was responsible for my invitation in the first place - Lacey. Where was she? Probably in the bedroom with Kyle. No, no, that couldn't be it. He was on the porch talking to his asshole friend. "Lacey?" I called, my voice laced with uncertainty. I opened one room door to check for Lacey, but instead I found Kiera Jones having sex with some guy. "Oh, shit!" I whispered to myself. Kiera Jones was everything you wouldn't want in a person in terms of personality, but appearance-wise, she was fucking hot. Still, for no reason I could discern, Lacey had accepted Kiera as one of her closest friends. What other chance would I ever get to see Kiera Jones naked? Then I stopped. "You're a fucking creep" I chided myself. "Lacey!" I called again. Then I saw her through the already-open bathroom door smashed out of her mind, sitting fully-clothed in an empty bathtub. "Oh, boy" I thought. This was going to be interesting.

I entered the bathroom and looked at Lacey with concern. "Well" I said. "You've had quite the night." I smiled. Unresponsive, she looked down at the floor, sniffled, and let a tear roll down her cheek. I leaned down and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey...What's wrong? Are you okay?" Though the fact she was crying made it blatantly obvious. "I've been better" she finally replied, with an unexpected tone of bitterness. "Listen, um, if you need anything, I'm here for -" she suddenly interrupted me. "Actually, yes. You know what I need? Another drink" She sounded like she'd given up, resigned to losing whatever fight she was in. In the twelve years I'd known her, I had never seen her this upset. Tears of lost hope rolled down either side of her cheeks. Part of me wasn't worried though. Whatever was bothering her, she just needed time to quell the anger and the pain. However, she'd never been proficient at holding her emotions in. As I walked towards the door, she spoke with a broken yet slightly apologetic voice. "Oh, no. You're not getting your hands on any alcohol for the next week. You just need to-"

"Get out."

I was confused. "Get out, Ethan. GET OUT. NOW." Her sadness had been brewed into rage. As I trudged toward the bathroom door, I heard her voice mutter behind me. "Stop. I'm sorry Ethan. I'm just a little...angry." she said, now slightly calmer. Relieved that she would let me help her, I walked back towards the bathtub. She looked up towards me. "Wanna get in the tub with me?" she said with a creepily seductive smile written across her face. I backed away, unsure of how to respond. She noticed the uncomfortable look on my face, quick to assert reassurance. "Not like that, Ethan. Keep dreaming, big guy." "Woah, calm down there" I smiled in my usual, way-too-awkward way. I was glad she was making jokes. Drunk or not, Lacey was still Lacey.

"Anyways, why are you so upset?" I asked pointedly. "Can we just...not talk about it? Please." she responded, her voice riddled with pain. But I wasn't willing to let this one go anymore. I held her arm gently. "Listen" I said calmly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but trust me. The best way to let go of your problem is to tell someone about it. That way, the burden of pain is shared between you and someone else. That someone else is able to know what you're feeling, which helps. You feel less...alone. When someone knows how you feel, it's as if you're finally being understood. Trust me, I'm here to listen. Whatever is wrong, you can trust me." She considered this in her intoxicated state, and - after a long pause - sighed. "Kyle...he broke up with me. Half an hour ago. He called me a...a useless bitch, an idiot, and a whore in front of everyone." I was completely shocked by this. Kyle was no longer an asshole or a dick. He was an asshole and a dick. "Well. Doesn't matter anymore." She tried to hide her sadness, but her lips started to quiver. "Oh my god, Lacey. I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve to be treated like that" I said, with a tone of anger. When someone hurts my best friend, you hurt me too. However, I was a nobody in Kyle's all-powerful popular-kids book so he probably didn't give two shits about me. I caressed Lacey's luscious blonde hair to try and get her to calm down, and she started sobbing. I thought something, and felt terrible immediately after the idea crossed my mind. I was, in a way, glad Kyle broke up with her. I'd known, ever since they started dating six months ago, he didn't deserve her. Not one bit. How could he do this? I was going to have a long chat with Kyle come Monday morning (even though he could probably - no, definitely - kick my ass). "Shhh..." I whispered, trying to soothe her pain. I let her cry on my lap, and I gave her a brother-to-sister-like kiss on the forehead. "No matter what, Lace, I will always, always be there to help you." She tried to muster a smile in all her sadness, squeezed my hand tightly, and continued to sob. Fully clothed. In a bathtub. What a night. I smiled to myself, because I had fulfilled my best-friend comforting duty.

A few hours later, the party was over, and there was no way Lacey was going home alone. Not like this, when she could barely walk. Not only was she drunk, but she was heartbroken. A recipe for disaster.

I walked her home. She failed to open the door with her key about four or five times, so I helped her out. I filled up an oversized glass with water, and, after some tough convincing, Lacey drank it. "Thank you, Ethan" she slurred. "You're a good friend. You're a really good friend. You're the bestestest best friend anyone could ever have. I like friends" she said, in a moment of pure drunken hilarity. 'The water would take effect soon' I convinced myself. My work was done here. Just as I was about to leave, Lacey grabbed my hand.

"Hey, Ethan?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you...stay with me until I fall asleep? I don't like sleeping alone."

"Uh...yeah, sure." I mean, what are friends for? This was, however, just further evidence that the mind of a drunk teenager was equivalent to that of a 5 year old. I sat on the chair opposite her bed, and couldn't help but watch as she fell asleep, slowly descending into the depths of thought, into her own dream world. That was the first time I ever thought of her as being truly beautiful. It was an indescribable feeling. I fell in love with the way she was falling asleep...slowly and calmly, floating through the intangible world of dreams. But then I snapped out of the trance her sleep had put me in. She was and was always going to be my friend. Best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. However, watching her sleep had stimulated a new sensation within me. A desire to have her as more than that.

After a few hours, I silently tiptoed my way out of her house and made my way back home. My parents would throw a fit if they found out I had stayed over at a girl's house for the entire night. As quiet as possible, I opened the front door of my house and tiptoed through, carefully scanning the room to check if either parent was awake. Thank god, I thought. They were both asleep. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, and scurried up the stairs to my bedroom. As I lay down on the hard yet oddly comfy mattress, I stared up at the ceiling. It was dotted with tiny glow-in-the-dark stars, just to add what I called 'atmosphere' to the room. I stared at the stars, the unwavering image of Lacey firmly locked in my head. She was wearing that beautiful smile of hers that no-one else on this Earth could ever emulate. Her beauty wasn't teachable or exchangeable. It was natural. It was hers and only hers. I went to sleep with a tiny smile on my face, her beauty still the only thing occupying my otherwise empty mind. 'School was going to be different tomorrow' I thought. Would she look at me differently? Will my social life have received a boost after that party? Yes, those guys were all assholes but another thing I hated to admit was a part of me sort of wanted to be involved in that exclusive little group. I wanted to feel as if I was part of something, as if people really accepted me for who I was. But I knew I couldn't have it both ways. And with that thought, I drifted off to sleep, the doors in my mind creaking open into my dreams.