Falling

10

I decided to sleep at her house rather than go home to mine, purely because, again, my mother would go insane if she found me returning home at what she called 'a ridiculous hour'. I helped walk Lacey to her room, and went down to the basement (the only free room left). I slept on the couch, although to say I 'slept' would be a lie. I didn't sleep a wink. Instead, I was left tossing and turning for hours, trying to quell the urge to wake Lacey up and ask her a million questions about what she said earlier. I was so stressed that my hair was constantly on end, and I felt my body coursing with adrenaline.

The next morning, I didn't wake in the best of moods (mainly due to my lack of sleep). I felt groggy, in need of a sleep-in. I turned my head to look at my phone. 7:30 AM. There was no way Lacey would be awake already, which meant I would have to spend the morning alone. However to my surprise, there she was, already showered and dressed at the dining table munching on cornflakes. Before walking into the room, I stood still on the corner of the wall and took a moment to think through what I was going to say to her. I was caught in a million different minds. What was I supposed to do in a situation like this? Just confront her? Stay calm? Go with the flow? I had no idea. After about five panic-filled minutes, I decided to go ahead with my well-thought out master plan: Completely winging it.

"Hey, Ethan." She said. Her voice sounded weak and raspy, a natural morning-after symptom. "Hey, Lace. Sleep okay?" I smiled, doing everything I could to stay calm. "Yeah, thank god."
"Party was fun, huh?" I said sarcastically, and she smiled playfully back at me. "Yeah, yeah. So much fun. Good thing we left early." 'Okay' I thought. Things seemed to be moving along smoothly so far. "I'm not too sure it was, Lace...I mean, seeing you drunk was pretty funny, but--" At this, she seemed slightly shocked. "Wait...drunk? When did I get drunk?" I was hoping this wasn't happening, that she remembered what she said, that it was real, and that it all wasn't just some sick joke of a dream. "Don't...don't you remember? After the party, we met up at the bar, and you said some, um, interesting things." Still, she was staring blankly at me. "Nope. Doesn't ring a bell. Hey, are you sure I was out drinking? Maybe you were drunk and hallucinated." She nodded proudly, as if her point actually made sense. "When was the last time I even smelled alcohol?" I rebuffed defensively. "Oh no...oh, shit! I promised myself I wouldn't get drunk, I--"

"So you don't remember a thing?" I couldn't believe this was happening...she told me she loved me, that she had for more than a year, and she didn't remember any of it. Maybe I was right. Maybe it was all meaningless, some cruelly crafted drunken slur built to break me. "No, Ethan. I don't. Oh, god. Just out of sheer curiosity, what did I say?" At this, I was faced with a dilemma. 'What could I do? What should I do?' I thought. Do I tell her everything? The truth? That she claimed she loves me, and did for over a year? Or do I hide my pain and sadness behind a web of carefully crafted lies, and keep everything she said locked away? I pondered this, and decided to try the latter. I acted normal, pretended she'd just spoke nonsense and hid everything. Tried to, anyway. "Oh, um...Nothing much, Lace. Just rambled on about trolls and wild unicorns."

I waited until she went back to her room, and ran out the front door. I was so desperate to leave that I didn't even think of putting my shoes on. I ran far, into the woods across from Lacey's house. As far as my legs could carry me. When my legs started shaking out of fatigue, I collapsed on the ground and cried. The floodgates opened. Tears of pain, of stolen hearts. She didn't remember a thing. She told me she loved me, and didn't remember. I was confused, trapped in a maze that was my life, with true love being the prize at the exit that I could never reach. What was I going to do now?

END OF PART I