Falling

8

I had come to a decision. I had come to a lot of decisions before, such as the fact that the dress was blue and black, and that peanut butter and jelly did not go together, and now I'd made another one. I was going to give up on Lacey. I mean, was there a point anymore? She was way out of my league, and when I tried to kiss her...it's like she was disappointed in me. The way she looked at me in the corridor. Maybe all she wanted from me was friendship, and nothing more.

Days passed, and by the end of the week I hadn't spoken to Lacey once. We were growing further and further apart. We were barely acquaintances, let alone friends, and that hurt. Friendships like the one I had with Lacey weren't easy to come by, partly because loyalty isn't really one of mankind's defining qualities. Lacey brightened up my day without even trying...she was probably one of the few reasons I had avoided going into a deep depression all these years. Despite her only being barely tethered to my life, I still went about my normal routine, trying to focus on basically everything but her. I took my classes, studied for tests (and passed the next physics one, thank god), applied for universities and all that. I planned to stay in the U.K, hopefully in London. That way I could live at home for the first year, thus easing the transition out of high school. Sooner or later, I barely thought of her at all (at school anyway). Whenever I did, though, the reality would come crashing down on me. The reality that, because of seemingly losing her, I had lost so much more than a friend. I had lost a part of my life that could never be regained. I had lost one of the few good things about my life. Sometimes, I just lay on my bed, looked up at the vast array of glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across my ceiling, and cried to myself. I knew guys weren't supposed to cry, but emotions aren't optional. If they were, I would eradicate love completely. Life would be easier, less painful.

I was in the middle of the second week of living a Lacey-free life when I got a text. I was at home, eating dinner with the family. Traditionally, none of us were supposed to check our phones while eating family dinners, but I did anyway since I felt like being an absolute rebel. Badass, right? I glanced to the right, expecting nothing more than Gus saying some more stupid shit or Ben asking me to send him a copy of my homework, but my heart stopped when I saw the text. It was from Lacey. The girl I'd given up on, the girl I'd been trying to rid my thoughts of for the past two weeks. The girl I loved. My hands were shaking as I fingerprint-unlocked my phone and worked my way towards the Messenger icon. I gingerly placed the phone on my lap as I saw the text. "We need to talk" it read. Holy fuck. She actually approached me. In an instant, I basically forgot everything I did to try and forget about her and quickly carried my phone into my room. We started talking over text, and arranged to meet that same day at 8. We decided to meet at Regent's Park. Aside from the fact that it was huge and green and beautiful, it was also the park where we first met as toddlers. On a bench-swing that was still there. Without telling my parents (which I realised was a mistake because my overprotective mum would annihilate me later), I grabbed a jacket and headed out.