The Life of a Daydreamer

#1

I hear murmurs around me. Each has its own story to tell but only a few know. But there’s that one voice that I could hear clearly, and it’s the teacher’s. Her voice pierces its way into my eardrums, keeping me wide awake. Yet, I feel sleepy. I don’t know why I feel sleepy. I had a heavy breakfast this morning, freshly made bacon and eggs – my favorite.

I go through the same routine during school days. I get up, go into a nice soothing hot shower, dress-up, go downstairs and have breakfast, go to school, and wait aimlessly for ten hours before I can feel the fresh breeze of dismissal time, this how normal and boring my life gets. But I still couldn’t believe that I’m feeling like I’ve never had an ounce of sleep for days. It’s such a weird feeling. Did someone come into my house unexpectedly and drugged me? Probably not, because I don’t seem high. Am I dreaming? I pinch myself to test that theory. And it hurts. It badly hurts.

I could hear through the whispers, the snickers and the discussion. Everything seems like a daze. Our teacher is bringing up another lesson today. It’s about Newton’s Three Laws of Motion. I’m trying my best to focus on the topic at hand but my mind just couldn’t register what was going on around me. I feel distant from everyone. I feel distant from myself. It’s like I’m here physically but I’m floating away, like my soul is being extracted by an unknown force or maybe that the lesson is such a bore that I’m starting to fall asleep and will probably wake up with drool all over my face.

My brain is trying to absorb what’s going on. The array of voices and the faces that are molding into expressions that we couldn’t seem to figure out, like a puzzle that couldn’t be solved. I look out the window. The sun is shining beautifully, transcending the golden rays to everything, making it appear like a painting – a painting done by God. A painting that has no imperfections.

I can hear a faint noise from the outside world. It’s the sound of a bird, probably a mocking jay. Its voice serenades nature, and me, while my noisy and rowdy classroom is filling up with annoyance. I can’t wait to get out of here soon.

Suddenly, my head hurts. It’s throbbing so badly like it could kill me. I try to raise my hand to excuse myself from the class but I couldn’t feel my arms. I try to open my mouth but nothing happens. I’m being detached from reality like I’m in a horrible nightmare, but it’s not a nightmare. The throbbing hurts even more when I think about it. I want to scream out in pain.

Someone pokes me on my shoulder. I turn to see it was Bethany. She is giving me the look. It’s the kind of look she uses around people who she thinks are mentally retarded, when she herself is one, but not literally. Her one eyebrow moves into an arc, then her lips tighten, and her eyes ignite with an evil I will never understand. She’s just being a bully to some people, including me. What’s a normal person’s life like without a bully?

“Hey loser, did you take any weed today? You look kinda’ stoned.”

I couldn’t answer her. My lips began to quiver. I feel my forehead drenching with sweat, like I’m having a fever or something. Her hand grabs me by the arm and she shakes me abruptly, but I couldn’t feel the pain. It was like I was injected with morphine.

“Hey Dumb head! Answer me!” she whispers quietly. At some point she gives up and sits up straight, her attention now toward the teacher and the lesson.

The feeling is like dying. I’m dying right now without saying goodbye to everyone yet I like it this way. Reality just seems to be full of lies and is such a fucked-up mess that all we want to do is just run away or die. Dying sounds so good right now, leaving the imperfections behind and enter the world of perfection that is heaven.

My eyes slowly start to drift away. My surroundings begin to get blurry and fade into black. The pain is so excruciating. It’s like my soul is burning in hell. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I let go of the lifeline and surrender to the darkness. My surroundings shift and I feel myself falling into a pitch dark void of nothingness. The teacher’s voice fades away and everything with it just…gone. And then…I lose myself.