My Zombie Girlfriend

Chapter 6

On Monday all anyone could talk about was the zombie outbreak. The guys on the football team were all wearing camo – yet another time Zane should have heeded Owen's sensibilities.

"Guys, come on," Zane said. "Don't you think you're all getting worked up about nothing?"

"There are videos all over YouTube. Some guy's house party turned into pure carnage," said Ross. He was sporting a black ski mask and the handle of a baseball bat poked out of his school bag.

"Mr. Freeman, remove the mask," Mr. Daniels, the principal, said as he walked by. "And that had better just be sports equipment you're carrying around."

"Yes, sir," Ross said, peeling the knit mask from his face.

"We're going to check each other for lesions before practice," said Mason. "Just to be safe."

Zane sighed. "Seriously, I think this is a huge overreaction – oh, hey, Harmony."

Harmony walked by without a glance in his direction. Their first date had gone worse than he imagined.

"Sorry, guys, I gotta go," Zane said, and hurried after her.

After elbowing his way through a crowd of very excited goths watching a video on a cell phone, Zane finally caught up to Harmony. "Hey, so, I had a really great time on Friday," he said breathlessly.

"Yeah?"

That bored tone. I gotta get my shit together, Zane told himself, and nearly walked into a girl holding a Bible.

"Yeah, I did. Really. I mean, I don't remember a whole lot after we, you know, took those bath salts or whatever? But dinner was nice. I was thinking that maybe this Friday I could cook dinner for you, at my house?"

Harmony stopped and looked at him, her head tilted at an odd angle. "Dinner."

"Yeah." Zane swallowed. "You know, I'm pretty good with a grill."

"Meat."

"Of course! I'm not vegetarian. I mean, I ordered the black bean burrito the other night just because I like black beans, and they're healthy. Not because I don't eat meat. I like a good steak as much as the next guy!"

Finally, Harmony smiled. "I like meat."

"Awesome!" Zane grinned. "Seriously, this will be the best date ever. So, um, what class do you have now?"

"English."

"Cool, I'm heading that way too." He grabbed her hand – why did her skin have to be so cool against his sweaty palms? – and together they walked down the hall.

When Harmony said nothing, and Zane observed the stares of his fellow classmates, he wondered if he had made a big mistake. Was holding her hand too forward? No way. Not after they'd done drugs together. This girl was experienced, he was sure of it. He needed to stop being so old-fashioned about these things.

They arrived at the door to Harmony's English class, and she moved to just walk through the door without even saying good-bye. Zane decided to take a chance.

He pulled her back and planted a kiss right on the...

...cheek.

"I'll see you later," he whispered in her ear.

***

"Where's the coach?" Zane asked when he walked into the locker room to see a dozen nearly naked teenage boys examining each other.

"Don't know," Ross said. He ran his hand along Mason's back. "There was a sub in my gym class. I think practice is cancelled. Mase, you're clear."

"Dude, you didn't check under his towel," complained Dylan or Tyler.

Mason spread his towel wide and shook his hips at Dylan or Tyler. "See anything you like?"

"Come on, man," said Ross. "This is serious."

"For real," said Dylan or Tyler.

"Guys, this is completely unnecessary," Zane said. "If this disease or whatever was so contagious, the CDC would have this entire area under quarantine."

Ross turned to Zane with narrowed eyes. "Spoken like someone with something to hide."

"What?"

He pointed. "Strip."

Minutes later, Zane was being prodded and poked by his teammates. "Damn, you got nice lats," said Mason.

"Thanks?" Zane said.

"You seem to be clear," Ross said. He had an unhappy twist to his mouth. "But I got my eye on you, new kid. It's a little strange that you show up here and suddenly there's a zombie outbreak."

Zane threw up his hands. "We moved in three weeks ago!"

The guys began to put their street clothes back on, and Ross moved to the chalkboard covered in football plays. He flipped it over to reveal a new strategy, which he had labeled "Apocalypse Now."

"As captain of this team," Ross began, "I'm in charge while Coach is out. Sick. He is out sick, and he's probably a zombie by now. Or he's dead. Just sayin'."

Zane's stomach twisted at the thought of his hallucination. It was almost like it was a vision of the future. He barely noticed that Wilson had edged his way to the front of the room. "I have a few suggestions for survival in the event of such a cataclysmic event, Ross," Wilson said, holding out a clipboard.

Ross grabbed the clipboard from Wilson's hand and shoved the shorter kid away. "I don't even know what that means," he said. "Look, we're the strongest guys in this school. In this town, even. We gotta represent. If shit goes down, and it's all survival of the fittest, we gotta survive."

"Damn straight!" said Dylan or Tyler.

A few more shouts of support came from the team, and Ross glanced down at Wilson's clipboard. "Oh, hey, this is actually a good idea," Ross muttered. "Listen up! We need weapons. Real weapons. Tonight everyone needs to take inventory of what they have at home for weapons: guns, knives, archery stuff, whatever. Blowtorches. I don't know. Make a list, and tomorrow we'll meet here and figure out whose house is the most fortified. Then we can make a plan that if chaos breaks out, that's where we meet. Got it?"

The guys cheered. Zane looked around, wondering if he was still under the influence of the bath salts. He discreetly turned to look at Coach's office. The windows were dark, and he didn't see any sign of blood on the floor.

Wilson stood up on the bench and grabbed his clipboard from Ross.

"Now, we've all played Call of Duty, but I figure we ought to review. Obviously, the head shot is the most effective way to kill a zombie. Fire also works, and I've listed a few other methods here. You will definitely want to procure a lighter and keep it on you at all times, even if you don't smoke. In this first scenario, you are trapped in a bathroom. Hairspray can become an effective blowtorch with the simple addition of a lighter."

"Yeah!"

"I've got a lighter!"

Wilson blew a whistle he had around his neck. Zane returned his attention to his first friend. "We don't need to practice this now. It's a simple chemical reaction. Now, I'm going to demonstrate how to turn an ordinary fire extinguisher into a bomb--"

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