My Zombie Girlfriend

Chapter 7

"What about these cargo pants?" Zane asked, holding up yet another pair to his hips.

Owen flopped back against the bench in the dressing room. "Dude, just pick a pair of pants already! Camo is camo!"

"These are more of an olive shade," Zane mused.

"Guys are not supposed to care this much about their appearance."

"I've never owned a pair of camouflage cargo pants before. And it seems like everyone's wearing them these days."

"That's because it's the zombie apocalypse!"

Zane shook his head and ducked into the changing stall to test the fit. As he zipped and buckled the pants, he said loudly, "They aren't even showing it on the news anymore. You're blowing one little incident of skin lesions completely out of proportion."

The curtain flew to one side, and suddenly Owen's finger was in Zane's face. "And you're blowing it UNDER proportion!"

"That's not even a thing."

Zane grabbed Owen's finger and twisted it back until Owen screamed, "Uncle!"

Wringing out his hand, Owen said, "Geez, are you on steroids or something?"

He ignored his brother and instead checked out his own butt in the mirror. "Do the flap pockets make my ass look wide?"

"Just buy a pair of pants already! You told me we were going to GameStop."

"We will, after. I just don't want to get the wrong kind of pants. It's so hard to fit in at this school."

"Fine. Get those ones." Owen pointed to a pair hanging from a hook in the stall. "They make your ass look sooo fine..."

Zane scraped the curtain closed in front of Owen's face. "Shut up."

But he tried that pair on again and marveled at his brother's fashion sense.

"Are you still trying to look hot for Harmony?" Owen asked as they left the store.

"She is my girlfriend."

"Is she?" Owen asked. "Is she?"

"Yeah, pretty much. She's coming over Friday night so I can cook her dinner. I'm going to rent a chick flick and try to get to second base."

"Whoa, fast mover," Owen said with heavy sarcasm. "You ought to get a horror movie. Nothing gets a girl to cuddle with you faster than when she's afraid for her life."

Zane gave his brother a look. "Since when would you know anything about that?"

Owen shrugged. "You don't know everything about me."

"Have you ever played Call of Duty: Black Ops?"

"Yeah. Duh. Hasn't everyone?"

Zane didn't say anything.

"Is that why we're going to GameStop? Seriously? Man, you need to get your head out of the books. My friend Jeff has that game. I'll tell him to come over if you want to play it."

"You're the best little brother ever," Zane said, grappling Owen into a headlock and giving him a noogie.

"Gah! Someday when I'm as big as you, you'll regret that!"