FALL

Chapter 2: Kindgartners From Hell

What the hell was he doing here? I thought he had disappeared! I thought he had been wiped off of the face of the earth forever, but no. He was still alive, and he was back.

I feel my eyes fill with tears, as I look away and take my seat. My heart is racing a thousand beats a minute. I'm surprised I haven't passed out already.

It's been two years since I've seen him.

Two very long years.

I swallow my tears back and force myself to count to ten. I can't let him do this to me, and I can't let him ruin my year.

This year is supposed to be amazing, the best one yet! I'm supposed to be moving on, graduating, making new friends, and finally living my lifelong dream of travelling to Europe! There's no way I'm going to let him destroy everything.

I should just be positive! Maybe he has a good explanation. Maybe he was trying to protect me in a way that I can't understand on my own. Maybe he regrets it.

But maybe he doesn't. What if he completely ignores my existence? What if I let him get to me? What if he does ruin everything?

I hope not. If there's one thing he should have remembered about me these past two years, it's that I've been looking forward to being a senior since my diaper days, or should I say I was looking forward to it. I still am excited about it; I just don't have the enthusiasm I once did. Surely, he wouldn't do this to me on purpose. He knows how much it means to me, and if he cared about me even the slightest bit, he wouldn't. But I'm not sure if he does anymore.

You don't just randomly walk out of the life of someone you care about with no explanation.

You don't tell them you love them one night and block them on every social media platform that exists the next morning.

You don't endure a lifetime of pain with someone you care about and leave them to fend for themselves when you know they won't survive on their own.

You don't do that.

I know he was in pain, but so was I. It wasn't fair for him to leave me like that. It wasn't fair for me to spend every hour of every day wondering whether or not he was ok. I would have never done that to him.

Ever.

I quickly shove those thoughts into the back of my head and start paying attention to Mr. Dawson.

He's giving the routine run-down of all things school. You know, like, no running in the hallways, get to class on time, do your homework every night, don't do anything stupid, blah, blah, blah, no one cares.

I try my best to act like I'm interested, but we all know that's not possible, especially when Zander is sitting right next to me.

I can't focus when I know he is there. All I want to do is cry and scream at him and ask him why, but I know I can't.

My attention actually does focus on Mr. Dawson once he starts talking about the one thing everyone has been looking forward to for ages: "Kindergarten Buddies".

It's a tradition at our school for each senior to have a student in kindergarten that they mentor, I guess you could say, throughout the year. We get to skip class and go have fun with them a couple of days out of the week, which I know we all are looking forward to. No class? I'll take it!

I love little kids. Pre-teens, though? Not so much, which is why I'm not a fan of my siblings and the middle schoolers I get to share a house and school building with. Ugh.

"You each will be assigned to a kindergartner that you will be doing various activities with throughout the year, such as coloring, reading, or playing with them on the playground. You may also be helping them with their school work, depending on whether or not their teacher wants you to," he informs.