She stayed up all night with thoughts and worries clouding her mind. Her mother beat her self esteem to the point that she feels like dying the pain never ending. first losing someone she loved now depression and anxiety build up with thoughts of suicide. My brother? He keeps telling me to kill my self, every time I feel like I should and feel more tempted to drink the poison that's in the bathroom drawer.They threw away a part of me that I'll never get back this is Likely why I'm such an introvert since I've been alone most my life. Growing out of elementary school I was always by myself no one bothered to be my friend so I just sat alone every day thoughts of why I exist clouding my mind as I waited for the day to be over so I could read or play games. Middle school isn't much what I expected it to be like. I'm fourteen as of now and I only have 2 or 3 friends but we're all long distance since I moved farther away from them. I wish things could have been different or that I shouldn't have been born at all I don't see a purpose in my own existence as a human being. People will probably think of me being selfish but I don't like the fact that I am still alive suffering with the pain of being hurt physically, mentally and emotionally to the point you want to die. A year ago I stopped feeling emotionally almost completely so cutting was the only way where I actually felt physical pain I know it's a bad habit but it's almost like a comfort. When I do cut it's mostly because I want to die but I don't target fatal areas of my arm I just do it. I wonder if my family would care if I died would they be sad? My friends? Will they forget about me like everyone else? They don't even have a clue how suicidal I am and it's irritating how people can't see when you're in pain and you're literally right in front of them Writing all this kinda feels pointless right now I don't think anyone would read this anyway but whatever I'm just saying what's on my mind.
