Sengoku Visions II

Chapter 23 - Damn Ninja

The following day I was jumpy as a Jackrabbit, and by the time the heat of the afternoon set in I was exhausted from my nerves being constantly on edge. I only got away with it because I wasn't the only one with aches after the trials or a sore head from sake, and with the whole day virtually free I took a couple of small maps and books up onto the castle walls for some breezy peace and quiet.

I loved this spot – above the everyday noise of the castle, closer to the clouds. There were pockets of shade along the battlements and I lay on my stomach, once again looking to solve the riddle of the parchment. My eyes grew heavy in the cosy warmth around me, and I lay my head on my arms, totally at ease.

Two feet landed lightly near my head. I knew exactly who they belonged to.

"Go away." I said, staying exactly where I was with my eyes closed.

"Tamara." A large part of me melted as he spoke my name for the first time in what seemed an age to my ears. But my will was stronger and I still stayed exactly where I was.

"Leave me alone." I said.

I heard him squat down closer to me.

"Tamara." His voice was so close, so tempting.

"Don't you dare touch me" I warned, staying still

He sighed.

"Tamara, look at me."

"No. Never again, leave me alone Saizo, to back to your Princess."

He sat down on the castle wall, cross-legged at my head.

"You don't understand ..." He started, but I cut him off.

"Oh, I think I understand quite enough thank you."

He was so quiet I thought he had left until he spoke again.

"Tamara."

"What?" I started to sound cross now.

"You're going to war then with the troop."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To fight for the Takeda Clan, obviously." Now I was cross and sarcastic.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then for the love of God, be more specific."

He sighed again. I was really struggling not to look up at him, but those eyes of his would trap me in a heartbeat.

"Do you fight to live or fight to die little lady?"

"I don't care, either has merit." He then noticed the lack of pendant.

"Tamara, where is the amulet ...?"

"Part of it is in me." Without looking up I shifted back my top.

"A woman did this to you didn't she, while you were ..."

"How did you know that?"

I sat up sharply and damn it fell straight into his eyes, they were full of pain.

We stared at each other in silence.

He started to reach out a hand to me...

"Don't, just don't" I said firmly, and he dropped his hand.

Saizo looked down for a second and when he looked back up he wore that flat thin-lipped expression that I knew had shut some door in his mind.

I sighed, this was too awkward. Too difficult. My eyes roamed his frame, remembering his touch, his breath in my ear, my ...

A sharp pain gripped my chest and I folded up, fighting for breath.

He was holding my shoulders in an instant, and I was in too much pain to care.

"Tamara, you are killing yourself."

"Leave me alone." I said weakly.

He lifted my chin to face him. My chest was starting to recover as Saizo stared into my eyes. It looked like he was going to speak, but then he stood up and disappeared from the castle walls. If he hadn't have actually touched me, I would have thought I'd been dreaming the whole encounter.

How did he know about the woman in the dark?

How did he know?

Having to control so much else locked away in my mind, this one kept circling on its own. There had to be somewhere I could put it to make it stop.

I tried to meditate, zone into the quiet, but the words kept coming back.

I'm not sure how long it took me, but step-by-step, piece-by-piece the words became fainter and I pulled apart the sentence and found the quiet once again.

I was certain though that I was at my limit.

Slowly and deliberately gathering my things, I went back towards the keep.