truly, madly, deeply

Part 8

i wake up, i jump out of bed with a face of dread. my hands are all clammy. "i cant do this" i think to myself letting my anxiety and fears drown me in worries. its too late to turn back now as i hear phils door creak open.

you can barely hear him walk, hes probably trying to sneak up on me or soemthing. man i love him. i cant wait to tell him. he jumps in but is surprised tosee my already up with a big grin on my face. unaware of what will happen next we walk into the colourfully decorated lounge and see everything layed on the floor wrapped and ready. the ring box in m had i open and pull the ring out. phils on the floor opening presents i cough and he stands up. i ask him to cover his eyes. "why?" he said with a giggle. "i have a surpise for you" i say.

 i kneel on the floor and ready myself "ready!" i yell. he opens his eyes and gasps; his face full of happiness and confusion. "phil i have only just come to terms with this but i am very much truly madly, deeply in love with you, what do you say?". he looks relieved and says quietly "Dan i have loved you for so long...". i look to him and stand relaising im starting to wobble on my one knee stance. he seems to be upset now. i think "oh my god have i just ruined everything?!" i look him in theface and hold his hands his deep blue eyes look into mine and we slowly edge in for a kiss.

our lips touch and i feel alive " i love you so much, you useless bag of phil!" he looks away. "are you ok? oh i've ruined everything havent i? how could i have been so stupid! im such a fool!" i say my eyes becoming heated and steamy. "no, i love you more than anything dan, im just in shock" he kisses me back and it feels electric. he wipes away the tear that slippeddown my face.

" you could never ruin anything Dan, you make everything better, i want to show you someting" he pulls up his sleeve to reveal a bunch of scars. i wince, ho could he self harm without me noticing? i hold him close "phil i had no idea im so sorry, i should hav been there for you..." he looks at me with a serious face "Dan, you were there for me, because of you i stopped. these are old scars but because of you i dont have new ones"  "you are to thank for my happiness and i wont ever forget it, Dan James Howell i love you". i hug him tight never wanting to let go.