Broken

my story

  so heres my story. so i was born into a single mothers life with a twin. my father had ran off before i was born. when he found out my mother was pregnant. my twin was my everything. my world. who i wanted to be. if she went somewhere i would follow. i didnt ever want anything to happen to her. i think she felt the same about me.
   one day when i was 8 my mother came in the house and said " i need to talk to you girls".
  me and athena ran down the stairs. me almost falling on my face. we made it to the living rooms​ and mom said to sit down.
   then "alex, athena im having a baby, a baby girl."
i ran upstairs i went to my room crying. i didnt want a baby sister. athena and i were the perfect daughters or as i thought.
    skip 2 years ahead. it was a sunny day. our mother had been on one of her junky sprees (meaning she was getting high by many thing). everytime she went on one of her sprees she did something bad last time. i had to get 16 stitches. so i stayed far away from her when this happened. but athena didnt know when she was on her sprees. she didnt even know about her sprees.
  while our mother was shooting up athena walked over. not knowing she was doing that walked up to her and said "mommy'".
   athena was so confused. when our mother turned around she had a needle in her hand and stabbed it into the crease of Athena's arm. i heard her yell of pain. athena hated needles so i knew that scream from anywhere.
  i ran into the kitchen where they were. my mother had already went outside frustrated to the max. i ran to Athena's side. i didnt want to lose someone i loved so much. she was getting drowsy in my arms. if i knew anything i knew that getting drowsy isn't a side affect. i knew i was losing her. so i pulled the needle out of her arm, hid it under my leg and if my mother came near me i would fuck her up.
     i screamed and woke up the baby on accident and my mother came storming into the apartment.
she yelled "this is your fault. the baby waking up, me getting into drugs, and mostly your sister being dead".
   when she turned around i yelled "This isn't my fault its yours. My sister is dead because of you. I wont ever have someone to talk to ever. The baby is your mistake. Athena didnt do a damn thing to you. Oh and i sure as hell know that i didnt kill her. You did this you psychopathic bitch. Just leave."
  That's when i called the police. They were there within 5 mins. I didnt want them to get there that fast because i didnt want to come to the reality that my twin was dead. But i knew that she was dead and i would have to deal with the pyscopathic bitch. While they were taking her away i just stood in silence, crying, wishing, and hoping she would hop off that gurney and come running to me. But my imagination could only take me so far.
   After she left i ran upstairs and locked my bedroom. Locked my door and went to my window and saw the take her away. I started to bang my head on the window when it finally gave in the window broke. I had blood running down my face and i just yell "ATHENA".
   I wanted to jump out the window when my mother broke down the door screaming "You woke up the baby. You little bastard. You shouldn't be alive im sick of you. You bit....".
   She stopped there when she saw the blood. she ran to the phone called 911 and got me to a hospital.
      All i remember was passing out in my room. Hearing the faint noise of sirens. Next thing i know im in a hospital bed. For a minute i forgot all about what happened today but then just then i realized i was fucked. My life would never be the same as it used to be. That my life wasn't in my hands now and never was in the first place. Why was my life falling out of line. My life was perfect before that stupid baby fuck it all up.
   A couple weeks later my mother committed suicide and me and my baby sister were shipped off to foster care. A few years later i got into heavy drugs. Never stayed in the house. Partying all the time. Not giving a fuck in the world. Waiting for my next high. My little sister would complain and say how she missed me and wanted to hang out. I didnt care and still dont. Wish i did but life got me here. I dont need anyone. Never did and never will. Until this incident i wasn't ready to tackle this on my own.