I'm jealous... Of her.... I'm jealous of a girl that Is better than me in so many ways. I understand her a lot actually. People say she is with guys a lot. But I understand she is depressed and wants to feel loved. She's quiet... I'm obnoxious. She's adorable... I'm edgy. She's colorful.... I'm black and white.
She's friends with my boyfriend they are great friends. She makes him happy. I don't... Only for a few seconds then I ruin everything. I'm only jealous because I am no one special. I'm only jealous because I'm replacable. I'm jealous because... I love him so much yet I hate being jealous because it tears me apart.
I hate it so much because I love them both and I would hate to ruin there friendship. I hate myself so much I'm literally crying right now. I want to die. Because all I do is hurt people. And I don't mean to. All I do is make people sad. Because I care to God damn much im going to deny the fact that I'm jealous and secretly hurt. I can not tell anyone I can not let this affect him or her. I don't want to hurt anyone!
I can not and will not hurt them. They mean to much to me. I want them to be happy and they make each other happy. So I'm glad they have each other. I really am about that. But I'm only jealous because I know how much better she is than I. They are going to be friends. I won't interfere. I won't. I can't. I will not. I refuse. I will not let my jealousy get in the way. I will not hurt anyone anymore... Or try not to. I'll try my best to stay away from there friendship. I will not hurt them. They both mean so much to me. I can't hurt them. I won't. They make each other happy. I'm only jealous.... And it's going to stay within me.
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Short Story
Short StoryTrigger warning. These chapters, short stories. contain violence, suicide, mentions of abuse, addiction etc. Some made up, some from the depths of my brain. Some based on dreams. Some based on a half empty thoughts. Story genres have a wide range...
