Just For Fun - Oblivious Changes (A J2 story)

It's Scary and It' Terrifying

It's scary, and terrifying and... -Jensen

I had watched her round that corner unguarded, without telling a soul where she was going and it brought out that protective streak in me. Jared, who was standing beside me, his eyes on the back of my head, stared at me as I took step towards the small alleyway.

"Jen, what's up?" He called out.

"Cari!" I answered and turned to him, trying to think of what to say but he just looked at me, the understanding in his eyes. "I'll be right back."

It was quiet and I watched from the corner as she stood against the wall, her eyes closed and her head tilted back but what little sun there was left seemed to shine against her cheeks as the tears feel from her eyes. I swallowed my own emotions, tried my hardest to just let her be but they started to come faster, and I watched her lips tremble with a pain I couldn't stand anymore.

I walked over, slowly, quietly, like a cat even with my boots on, but the only real thing I remember is my hand slipping around the base of her neck, under her hair, and my arm wrapping around her waist as I pulled her closer to me, so close that I could feel her shaking under my touch. Her small hands came up, pushing my coat aside as they searched, for what I'm not sure, but I could feel the grip as she moved aside the layers and latched on to my tee-shirt, a dark gray one that I wore.

Her hands were cold even through the material but it didn't take long for them to begin to warm up as she pressed close. I lowered my head, placing my cheek against the top of hers and took in her scent. She smelt like the season, almost like the threat of snow, mixed with some minty shampoo but underneath all of that was just the scent of her, the one I remembered from the first time I held her in LA, and my lips moved to caress her hair.

"Shh, Sweetheart, it's okay," I did my best to ease her crying, but by then she had already stopped, she was just standing, her weight against me, not that it was even enough to make me budge, but I wanted her closer. The hands that held me slowly release and her arms wrapped completely around me, taking the back of my shirt between those small fingers and I could feel her shivering stop. "What's going on?"

"I have to go," her voice was muffled hiding in the coat, but my ear was close enough to her to make out every word. "I have to go and I don't know if I'm strong enough to leave or strong enough to come back."

This admission caught my breath, and I lifted my head. How could she not be strong enough to come back? How could she not be strong enough to leave? She was one of the most... I could feel the tears in my own eyes, and I tried to steady my heart as I moved my hand from the back of her neck to her chin, lifting it with the edge of my thumb.

"I've never meet anyone as strong as you," I whispered and watched the way the light shined off the tears in her eyes. "You'll go home, and love your kids, and you'll come back and I'll be right here waiting, and we'll get through this, you and me."

"You make it sound so simple," her lips quivered as a tear slide from the corner of her eye and I wiped it away with my thumb.

"It is simple, we'll make it work, I promise." The urge to lean down and just brush my lips to hers was strong, so strong that I managed to stop myself by placing my forehead against hers instead and I watched her close her eyes. "You trust me, right?"

"Probably more than I should," she laughed, which was a good thing to hear, that laugh, even if it did make me weak in the knees.

"Leave your door unlocked for me." I asked, and as much as it might sound it, that wasn't an easy question to let out. It was a confirmation of something, something I had been keeping inside for so many weeks, for months. She looked up at me as she stepped back, a bit of confusion in her eyes. "It's not what you think, just please, say you'll do it."