The Citrus Syndrome

23 ; defenses

Defenses

Wilson

We all gather around Cat, watching her like an interesting but particularly gory movie. No one tries to touch her; when Taya reached out her hand, Catherine batted it away so hard that I left scratches over Taya's palm.

She is in a state of pure torment, writhing from side to side like her clothes are on fire. Her mouth is open, her voice creating one constant wail that breaks every minute or so for a squeak of pain. Her arms are folded over her chest, her hands clutching her breasts as she doubles over with sobs. I can't help but wonder what is happening in her mind.

She's still freezing cold. I don't think anything is going to change that. We've done everything we can think of: brought her dozens of extra blankets, brought her over to the radiator, closed her in a small room with the temperature up high. None of these had any positive consequences. In fact, the last one made her break out in hives.

Bo is here, although I'm not sure why. It's good to see him again, though. He looks awful, but honestly, who doesn't? At least he's alive and sentient.

He looks at Cat mournfully, his eyebrows pushed together with concern. If I didn't know Bo, I would think he was an empty-headed pretty boy who could do nothing but stare uselessly at his dying friend. But I know Bo. He's a pretty boy, alright, but only when you give him nothing else to do.

Not that he's so pretty right now. His skin is the color of rotting bones, color coming in splotches: the black circles around his eyes, the strip of blood trickling down his arm, the purple bruise on his neck. His hair has lost its yellow. It's almost white, now.

But even a virus can't take away Bo's eyes. They've always been stunning and probably always will be. I watch the shocking blue of his irises stare at Cat, his eyelids drooping with exhaustion. Suddenly, I am glad Ghania brought him up here. I think it will be good for Cat to wake up and see him there, waiting for her. Maybe it will make her realize that she needs to go on living. Maybe she'll realize how many people care about her.

Just then, Cat gives a violent shiver. She hugs herself harder, curling up into fetal position. Letting out one final screech of agony, she lets go of herself and falls silent.

We all look at each other. No one wants to touch her first. Taya looks away from Cat's trembling gray body, chewing her bottom lip. Ghania looks to me, then to Bo. I look back at her, then at Bo, then at Taya who glances at me before looking away again.

"Um," I say. "It think it's over."

Bo nods. Although every movement seems to pain him, he manages to get on his hands and knees to crawl over to Cat. He grunts into sitting position behind her, parking himself about an inch from her back. He takes a minute to collect his breath.

Then he reaches out for her. "Cat?" he whispers. "You alright, Babygirl?"

Cat shivers again, twitching so hard that she physically moves away from Bo. Her eyes pop open, their harsh, icy blue opposing Bo's warm, piercing cerulean.

"Kitty!" Taya exclaims, scooting closer.

Cat looks from Taya to Bo and back again, her eyes heavy with wariness. She pulls the blanket closer around her shoulders.

Taya presses on. "Talk to me," she begs.

Cat lets out a groan. "Don't touch me," she says.

Ignoring what just came out of her mouth, we all sigh in relief. Except for Ghania. She's too quiet for anything but tight-lipped silence.

Taya is so relieved that she throws herself at her girlfriend. "Oh, thank god!" She tosses her arms around Cat's shoulders, burying her face in her neck.

Cat grunts at her. "Get off of me," she says in a cold, hard voice. She doesn't sound sick or weak. Just mad.

I reach out a hand, taking a stricken Taya by the shoulder. She lets me guide her away from Cat, her lip trembling. I sigh internally. Cat's back. Back to being cold and mean and making people cry. Oh, good.

"She was just worried about you," I explain. "You really do look awful."

"You're one to talk," she spits. There's no trace of teasing in her voice, the undertone of amusement that usually leads her insults, gone. She glares at me before she closes her eyes again and pulls the blanket over her face.

I don't let it faze me. I probably do look awful if how I feel is any indication. "What happened?" I ask.

"Hallucination."

"Well, duh. I meant, what happened in the hallucination?"

Cat peeks over the top of the blanket, glaring at each of us in turn. I see Bo's eyes light up when she gets to him, as though he hopes to be spared from her evil eye. She glares at him just as hard. "I don't want to talk about it," she growls.

I frown. She's been sharing thus far. What could have happened that was so awful she couldn't tell us? "C'mon, Cat."

"Leave me alone," she retorts.

I exchange a look with Bo. Cat always did like her solitude when she was upset. At the office, she was almost always upset about something. Someone made decaf coffee, Alisha fucked up the intercom system, the lights were flickering but they couldn't get an electrician because any normal person would be curious about their covert operation and they couldn't risk that. No matter what it was, Cat always found something to be pissed about. I never saw it as a bad thing, though; her anger seemed to fuel her work.

But now, I'm a little disappointed. It was so nice when she had her guard down. Now, we have to do the usual attack and retreat strategy to knock down her defenses.

"Ghania," I say, "why don't you go back downstairs and see if they need any help?" She nods, seeming relieved. "And thanks for everything. Tay, if you're feeling up to it, maybe you can go with her? Things are probably going batshit down there."

Taya looks from me to Cat and back again. "But--" she begins.

"She's not going to talk to you, Tay." I hate to break it to her so harshly, but it's true.

She pressed her lips together. Then she nods. "Alright. Just . . . come get me if anything happens, okay?" We promise to. Taya leans down, attempting to kiss Cat's forehead but instead receiving a swipe to the face. She scrambles away before we see her break down.

Now it's just Cat, Bo, and I. Just like the good old days when we weren't all going to die.