grief // e.d

o.n.e

    Ethan's POV

"She's gone, I'm so sorry Ethan." The doctor painfully tells me, gripping my shoulder gently.

I would have never thought this would be how I was spending my Friday night.

How did this even happen? How is this fair in anyway?

I feel droplets upon my cheeks and that's when I realize I have been crying. "Can I see her one last time?" The doctor nods silently as he waits for me to get up so he can lead the way.

I'm so mad at myself. I'm mad at the world. We reach the room and all I see is a lifeless figure covered perfectly with a bed sheet.

"Bea, oh god," that's when it becomes real. She's gone. My first love and the love of my life: gone.

How could I be so stupid? If I only I had taken her up on her plans for the night. She was content with staying in and ordering her a pizza. I should have never offered to take her out on that stupid date!

How the fuck did I end up completely fine, with nothing but a few scratches and she is lying here dead. She's sixteen years old for Christ's fucking sake. This shouldn't be happening.

I hear the door open behind me but I pay no attention to it.

"Ethan I'm so sorry, I came as soon as I heard," Grayson cries as he wraps me in a hug. He knew how in love I was with her.

"I will give you and your brother some privacy," the doctor says quietly as he shuts the door.

"This isn't your fault buddy," Gray whispers as he rubs my back. I pathetically attempt to hide my tears by burying my face into his shoulder.

"Why?"

Why what, E?"

"Why is this happening? I didn't even see the car swerve over into our lane. By the time I did it was too late. How the fuck am I fine and s—she, she's—"

Grayson stops me. "I don't know. I know it's not fair but you need to understand this isn't your fault. The other driver was drunk. It's not like you knew something like this was going to happen."

Here it comes. The anger at the reality of the situation.

"Did he make it?"

Grayson's face goes white. "E-"

"I asked did he fucking make it?!"

Grayson sighs and I see his eyes filling up with tears once again.

"Yes."

And with that, I was out the door. "I know he's in one of these fucking hospital rooms!" I yell out in pain, anger taking over me as I start my way through the halls.

"Ethan!" Grayson pleads as he runs to catch up with me.

"He's not here. He was okay too, so now he's in custody. . ."

I stop and turn around to face him.

". . . He's going to prison for vehicular manslaughter."

Grayson wraps an arm around me and leads me back to Bea's room. I pull the sheet down far enough to reveal her face. I run a finger through her mousy-brown hair and trace my finger up to her lips.

How I wish at any second her eyes would flutter open revealing those piercing blue eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Bea." I choke.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N's note
Sorry this chapter is so short love! They will get longer! I just needed to start this story out with this scene, and felt it would be better if it was its own chapter. xx