grief // e.d

t.h.r.e.e

Ethan's POV

I stayed home from school today. Grayson offered to stay with me but I declined. He argued, but reluctantly ended up slinging his backpack over his shoulder and gave me a sad smile as he closed my door.

It's weird, through every hard time and obstacle in my life, I've always needed Grayson by my side. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I feel it is better to push through alone.

I pull out my phone and hit 'Photos,' scrolling through the endless selfies Bea and I took together. A tear falls onto the screen and I quickly wipe it away with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Two years together and now you're gone just like that. . ." I close my eyes and drift off into nothingness.

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I wrap my arms around her. She giggles as she closes her locker door and meets my hug, planting a kiss on the top of my nose.

"Hi baby," she breathes as she pulls back.

I smile.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I ask her as we lace our fingers together, walking towards the exit of the school.

"You're a terrible person, Ethan." She stops suddenly, nothing but pure rage seeping through her voice.

"W-what?"

"I said you're a terrible fucking person, Ethan. You killed me. It's all your fault. I was sixteen and you took away my whole chance at life. . . You will burn for this and I will be there every second of the rest of the eternity, watching you."

I jerk up suddenly. It was just a dream.

"Baby?" It's my mom. "I'm sorry, Eth. I didn't mean to wake you. . ."

"You didn't wake me," I choke back tears, "I had a dream about Bea. She told me I was going to hell for ending her life so early."

My mom starts sobbing as she sits on the end of my bed. She engulfs me in a hug.

"It's just a dream, baby. It wasn't your fault. . . The other driver was drunk. There was absolutely nothing you can do."

"I shouldn't have offered to take her out."

"Hon-"

"No! Mom! All she wanted to do was stay in but I insisted on taking her out on a date," I run my hands down my face in an attempt to wipe away the tears that were quickly falling. "It's all my fucking fault. I came out of the accident unscathed, but she—she"

Grayson walks through the door, his eyes and mouth wide with shock. I can't believe it's already three o clock.

"Mom, can you please just go? I'm sorry but I just need Grayson."

Maybe I need him more than I thought. My mom plants a kiss on top of my head and as she passes Grayson, she takes his hand and whispers something to him.