TØP Øne Shøts

.:Cant Remember Tø Førget Yøu:.

*trigger warning: self harm/ suicide*
*the title pages will be on the media*

Josh found himself at the gay club again, seated at a crowded bar, shakily gripping his beer bottle in his lap, watching the other men dance. Some holding each other by their waists, some missing shirts, others fully clothed. The colored mood lights were bright and skipping over the ever changing group of men. He sighed over the loud, rave music, wishing he had his club buddy.

Tyler Joseph was all that was on his mind. Tyler Robert the gorgeous, freak of nature Joseph.

Ty had been bringing Josh here since they first met, Josh thought that maybe Tyler knew about what he felt before he himself did. Although, Josh constantly denied feelings for Tyler, he ached inside his frame. The skin that wrapped it was made up of lies, his head was crowded with so many misconceptions that sometimes he found it hard to think of the brunette boy, with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes and his perfect smile, his breath taking dimples. He could light up a room just by walking in and smiling. He could make Josh forget everything with a simple touch. Not even a sexual touch, he could hug Josh, squeeze his hand, pat him on the shoulder, anything sent him over.

Josh downed the rest of the brownish liquid, savoring the burning trail it traced down his throat as he locked his industrial boot clad feet together.

"Keep 'em coming." He chastised the bartender, pulling his knees to his chest. The tall man with the crowbar mustache nodded, handing him his fourth bottle of Bud Lite.

---

After two more hours of watching the happy men dance, legs tangled, hearts mangled AND let's not forget the four more beers, Josh decided he'd had enough. He stumbled past men who grabbed at his butt in his tight jeans, all the while, he completely disregarded the fact.

He tripped all the way to his truck, illusions consuming his drunken head. He climbed into the drivers side and pulled out his phone, quickly sending a sloppily written text to "tyjo".

You: i love you.

Josh's screen mocked him with every letter. Sometimes he swore that Blurryface was contagious. After all, everyone has one but Josh's never, ever, ever got quiet.
Your just some gay weirdo.
He doesn't even like you!
He has a girlfriend, homewrecker!
He threw his iPhone6 into the seat beside him, slamming his head into the steering wheel, momentarily enjoying the pain. He felt it and not the numbness. Almost as soon as Josh went to hit his head again, he heard his phone in the seat next to him vibrate with a text.

Tyjo: lol ur drunk josh

You: no im not ty.

In his drunken haste he struggled to keep both his spelling and grammar in line. He cupped his head in his hands, feeling defeated. Wow, every time Josh attempted to tell Tyler how he felt, this happened. He was always 'drunk'. Which may have been true for this time but not always!

Tyjo: please be safe.

Josh threw his phone down on the concrete, pain surging through his veins, thicker than blood, quickly he slammed the truck door.  Not long after, he started the truck, not bothering to pick up his phone and stared down at the glowing dashboard. Everything was blurred and shaky. He put the truck in reverse and pulled out of the club parking lot, starting towards wherever he was going. In this state, he had no idea. All he was worried about was not letting the tears go.

He pulled into a wooded area nearby and flung the truck door open, jumping out of the vehicle and running. He just ran, to the best of his influenced ability and didn't stop, heart pounding vigorously, his breathing hitched and forced. He couldn't see. He couldn't hear. It was pitch black and silent besides the occasional rustle of the wilderness or the wind toying with the treetops.

All at once he stopped. He slid down the rough bark of a tree, hiding his face in his hands, pulling his knees to his chest. The tears erupted from his dark brown eyes, trailing down his pale cheeks to tease at the grooves of his neck and collarbone.
Your a sicko.
How can you live with yourself?
You deserve to die, Joshua William Dun.
A familiar friend whispered in Josh's ear, and he knew everything that he said, was true. He was sick, he was in love with his straight best friend.

He couldn't live with himself anymore. He did deserve to die, everything blurry said was right. The world was better without him it it, trying to transform it. Tears continued to pour from Josh's eyes as he searched his jeans pockets frantically for the switch. He knew he had it.

His fingers grazed the cold, rigid metal of the blade and the tears slowed slightly. He pulled it from his right pocket, teasing the closed blade against the thin skin of his wrist, a lump, thick in his throat, a ball tight in his stomach.

His hesitation quickly melted away with four words.
I love Jenna, Josh.
He flicked the blade open, marking a deep from his elbow crease to his wrist on his left arm. Immediately, Josh let out a rather loud whimper of both agony and contentment, soon after the blade hit the ground. The gooey, crimson liquid began to leak from the large and deep wound, causing Josh's breath to escape him. It drizzled from the slit onto his jeans, soaking into the material. Typically, he wouldn't let it drip but he knew this was different. It was deeper, darker, wider. It was a killer.

He grabbed the switch from the ground with his left hand, tears teasing at his eyes. Once again, two words forced the blade to bite into the thin skin of his forearm.
Do you, Tyler Joseph take Jenna Black to be your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
He slammed it down on his arm, ripping up with all he had left in him, bawling like a baby.
Why couldn't Tyler just love me?

Why couldn't you be better, Josh?
Blurry taunted.
That was all the brightly colored hair boy heard before he lost consciousness, never again to regain it.

---

Authors note: oh my josh those things I said about you, Josh are merely for writing purposes. I love you and it was so hard to say those things.
Anyways, I hope you liked it. Please vote and give feedback in the comments! :)
-Abigail (babyyjoseph)