Miyamura Toranosuke x Reader My time with you

Chapter 11: The feelings he made me feel

~~~(Y/N)'s P.O.V.~~~

I hugged Miyamura still feeling my cold tears. Maybe they weren't cold. Maybe it was me that felt as if her heart was broken into million pieces and was way too cold inside, but burning on the outside. I felt... I felt bad. My memories were stolen and now I couldn't have them back. What could be worst? I love my memories - bad or good. And now I learned they were erased from me, leaving only feelings that irritate me, because of my unawareness about them. I felt how my grip on Miyamura's jacket tightened and the tears fell down way faster. I didn't want to separate from his body. I felt safe. I felt weak. I felt loved. I felt hated. And on top of that it is Christmas. I hate it now.
I felt how Miyamura's warmth suddenly started do disappear and looked up to face him. He was separating from me. A shockwave filled my body, but now I am way too emotional. I wiped my tears and forced a smile, to tell my brother I am okay. He was not looking good too- his eyes were filled with both anxiety and tenderness, his face was as white as the snow around us, which has certainly got way bigger. The dark green hair of my brother made a big contrast with the snow and his face. It was as if he was my angel guardian. I loved him in a way I could not feel towards anyone else. He was my brother, my savior.

I remember one time we were very little. We were playing some game - I can't remember what exactly. He was smiling. Very much. Maybe a little bit too much. We were in teams and he was the leader of ours. We were playing against my sister and her friend. Then after a truthfully deathly battle our team won. And it was because of my brother. Oh dear lord, he saved me during all the game! I felt like I could have died (even tough it was only a game) and at that time saw my brother as an angel. My angel guardian.

Now I saw him the same way. He was there, with me, trying to protect me, even when he didn't know what to do. I smiled again, this time not a forced one. I felt as if some of the anxiety in his eyes left, but the bigger part of it was still in his eyes. But the difference this time is that he isn't the only one I can depend on- I have two more angels, two angels that make me feel strange, as if my heart won't stop bumping into my chest. And now one of these angels was holding me in his hug, petting me, worrying about me. And it is no surprise I love him.

Yes, yes, I have finally understood - I loved him. I loved him since a long time. And this isn't changed. I still love him. I love his at first sight cold blue eyes, his shiny white hair, his warm body, his warm fingers. I swear I have felt another things from him.

Suddenly a wave of feelings and emotions flooded me. This time I had a clear picture. I was in a small dark room. There was another person with me. I focused my eyes to try to find out who the person is. All I saw was shiny white hair. Rays of light lit up the stranger's face. Now again I saw an angel. It was Miyamura. I didn't want to blink, because I was too focused to contemplate his beauty. Then, after almost a minute I felt other things. Other things that made me comfortable. I felt one of his hands on my waist, another one playing with my hair. I saw all the tenderness in his beautiful blue eyes. I suddenly felt how close he was to me. Our breaths mixed. And I blushed. I blushed furiously. This time it was something in him that made me feel another way. I haven't felt like that before. I haven't seen him like that before. He laughed. Then he started moving, slowly, but damn seductive. I was just frozen. I couldn't look away from him. Then his lips met mine. I melted into the kiss and kissed back. It was passionate. He leaned deeper. And I didn't resist. It was good. Then, when we finally departed so we can breath, he didn't stop. He started kissing my cheek, my neck, my ear. I moaned. Miyamura smirked. Then he whispered something into my ear, but the only thing I could hear and understand was '...I love you...' Suddenly from my mouth escaped words, so strong and so pleasant, so hard to tell and at the same time so simple.

'I love you, too...Toranosuke.'

He blushed hard and smirked at the same time, his warmth all around me.