Memorıes Lıke These

Chapter Four

     "I want to know everything I possibly can about you." I said to Lorna as we lay on the grass on the hill. I turned and looked at the side of the face, watching as she stared at the clouds and chewed on her lip. Then she spoke.

     "Where do you want me to start?"

"Your family. You said you had a brother?"

     "Yes. Noah. He’s a year younger than me, 16. We’ve always got along well. He was my only real friend when everyone left. He plays soccer. He’s really good at it too. I always tell him he’ll be big one day, but he doesn’t believe me. He’s also quite popular. At school I see him hanging out with a different group of people each day. I love him. You’d like him." Lorna said fondly.

     "He sounds like a great guy. Any other siblings?" I asked.

     "No. Just Noah and me."

     "What about your parents?"

     "What about them?"

     "Well, are they still together? Are they okay?" I asked, then suddenly regretted it as that was maybe a bit too personal.

     "My illness is really affecting them…" Lorna said. "I feel so horrible when I find my mom sitting at the table late at night, surrounded by bills and her head is always in her hands and she is often crying. Because my chemo comes first. Always. But I know we can’t afford it. Our electricity went out last week because we couldn’t afford to pay the bill. We would of been able to if we didn’t pay for my chemo. Things would just be so much easier if I was healthier."

     I looked at Lorna and she sniffed, almost like she was trying not to cry. And all I wanted to do was hold her. Hold her tightly in my arms and stroke her hair, telling her everything was going to be okay. I wanted to provide reassurance for her. I wanted to be the one she could rely on. But I remained still and I just kept watching her, thinking of all the things I wanted to do but fear stopped me.

     "I’m sorry. I’m getting so depressing here. See what I mean now? Who would want to be friends with me? Tell me about you."

     I wanted to tell her she was wrong, and that there was nothing wrong with her but I just answered her question. “I have an older brother named Greg.”

     "Is he nice?"

     "As nice as a bulldog attacking you…"

     Lorna laughed and turned her head to face me. “You don’t mean that.”

     "He’s my older brother. I love him and all that but sometimes I just want to throw a brick at him. I guess every sibling gets that though." I smiled.

     "Are you happy, Tristan?"

     The question took me aback and I stared at Lorna, she stared back. I searched my mind for all the responses and eventually, I replied.

     "Yes." I said, because I actually was. Right here, right now, in this very moment, I was happy. And I don’t know if she meant was I happy this year or week or right now, but I just said yes because in this moment I felt infinite.

     She smiled and looked back up at the sky. “Me too.”

     And maybe that was all I needed, a sick girl telling me she was happy. A girl with tons of problems in her life, not complaining. Because it struck me as wonderful to know that she was happy. That no matter what happened, we were going to be happy.

     "See that cloud up there?" Lorna asked, pointing to the sky. "It looks like a horse."

     I looked to where she was pointing and saw a horse shaped cloud floating past. I smiled. “And that one looks like a heart.” I said, pointing to another cloud.