Love Me

Chapter 3

Work was keeping me occupied and I didn't think of Ken much, before I knew it it was Thursday and I hadn't even seen him.

Clara told me he was probably going through stuff, "he's always going through something" I thought to myself, "Yeah he sure is" Ben said in almost a whisper. I didn't even realize I said that out loud.
They knew I had a crush on him, wish they knew how much I loved him.
"Love Huh!?"
Today was movie night with my family but I wasn't feeling it much.
"Had a really crappy day mum I don't feel like it"
"Why not, a movie will cheer you up"
I rolled my eyes facing the other side, didn't want a slap landing on me before I know it. My mum and I were close but she didn't entertain disrespect.
She'd always remind me "I'll beat you even if you're 40 you are still a child to me and mine for that matter."
They sound like empty threats but trust me she's serious.

Zara joined us, she normally has barley on Friday's so she doesn't have to sleep early, the moves she has, standing on only her big toe, imagine all your weight supported on one toe, honestly don't know how they did it.
My sister was our joy, though she came to us in the most unexpected way, mum and I loved her like she was entirely ours.
Mum always had a soft spot for almost everything. She always wanted to help when she could, but my sister was special, it was in no doubt mum was going to help her.

I still remember that rainy day, it was a hail stones rainy day. Dad still hadn't come back, it was just my mum and I, I had almost gotten used to him not being around.
The door bell was rang a couple of times, I decided to get it since mum was busy in her house office, I couldn't believe my eyes, "mum" I shouted, the neighbors probably heard me, "mum come down fast" I knew she'd come running because she could tell I was panicking, the most she would have been was seven or eight months,
"what's going on" I asked her in a shaky voice.
"I am as surprised as you are hunny"
"let's hope they left a note" she said as I we took the baby inside.

Mrs Smith,
I am left with no choice but to leave Zara Smith with you, I wish I could take care of her myself but I can't am not in a position to, I thought your husband our husband would take care of him as promised but since she's been born, I can't get a hold of him.

All I could see is mums tears, all I did was look at baby Zara confused on what to even say, that minute I felt like I hated her, like she was the course we hadn't been seeing dad for a while, like she was brought purposely to break our family.
I wanted to squeeze the life out of her little throat, maybe even hit her head on the floor, I had hate, rage toward what was sleeping all so peacefully in front of us.

I know it's wrong of me but please take care of my baby for me, treat her like own, I know you have a good heart, she's all I have. Most of all don't tell her about this maybe unless she insists.
I am so sorry for the pain this must have caused you, I can only imagine, I don't know what I can do to erase what happened.
To be honest the affair with your husband has been going on for a while now and I feel so shameful even saying this.
I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me ma'am, for what it's worth, Daniel really loved you. He reminded me that everyday, as much as I was jealous I knew I would never win his whole heart.
Anyway take care of Zara for me, if you feel like changing her name it's okay.
I know your daughter always wanted siblings hope they get a long just fine.
When she's of age you can show her her baby pictures sadly am in them but only show her once she knows about me, there is no need of showing her if you haven't told her the entire truth.
I have left a little note for her just in case you tell her.
Take care, I wish it wasn't like this.

P.S  I am really sorry.

Love,
Linda Monroe.

How could one person bring so much pain, I couldn't consider myself that much of a victim though I could only imagine what mum was thinking.
I wish I could be inside her head right now, but with the soft heart she has she's probably like
"oh you poor cute little thing, what will we do with you"
It annoyed me sometimes her generosity and love for all, I wasn't sure if it had something to do with her being a Rotarian or what.

I looked at Zara almost crying, seeing how far she had come with us, the way she grew into us, she was our little bug, right now nobody would do anything to her in my watch, everyone knew how much I loved her, we ourselves couldn't understand how much we cared and loved her.

Present Day

"Zara it's time for bed little bug, don't want you giving me a hard time in the morning."
"Just one one episode please" she pleaded.
She looked at mum with those cute killer eyes of her
"No pumpkin, do what your sister is saying"
"Č'mon now put on your pajamas am coming to tuck you in"

"I don't want you to read me anything today"
"Why bug did I upset you?" I asked her praying she'd say no, "No it's not that" "What is then"
"Well I just feel like it, how about that"
"Oh you cute little thing sleep tight" I said while tucking her in
"Am not little anymore missy"
"Yea yea, don't let the bedbugs bite"
I told mum goodnight and went to my room.

My mind could help but wonder about this fine boy, sometimes I wondered if he thought about me like I did, if he wished to be with my like I did.

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I feel like this chapter was a little sadish,

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Love,
W.M