Occhiolism

The tree

She's so beautiful walking down the aisle.

I didn't really know her dad.

We never really talked.

Her side of the church is full.

Mine's nearly empty.

Only me to blame, I guess.

That's what I tell myself all the time.

Sorry, I shouldn't be getting off subject right now.

My wife is walking down the aisle.

Well, my near wife.

I shouldn't be worrying about what my thoughts are right now.

The vows flash by. I know this is meant to be my special day, but I found them almost boring. I can't wait to get some dancing in, or to hear what people wanted to say in speeches.

We were going to go outside and do the speeches under the tree. The special tree. It had bloomed. It was summer. The flowers were pastel pink. I think it looked like a cherry blossom but my biology teacher told me they don't grow round here. I hadn't seen any other tree like it. But to be honest, I haven't even left this town. I guess it's the only one here. It was the one thing I wanted for the wedding.

Whilst we were heading out, it started to rain. I really wanted to do the speeches out there. But Lilly said she didn't want her dress to get wet. I really wanted to. But I didn't argue with her.

Her father goes first. He talks about his little girl growing up, and how time flew by. All that rubbish. I never heard a single word of that from my parents. Sometimes I wonder if they even care.

Her mum goes next. Her mum was nice. Funny. I treated her like my own mother. She was so caring. Like a parent should be. She helped me through the last years of high school. Through the bullying. I don't know why she likes me so much.
Lilly works. I'm unemployed. My parents hate me for it. See, there's one university in this town. Well, near this town, if you want to be exact. I tried to get in. I was smart when I was younger. But that was when I had no fun. That was when I didn't enjoy life.

When I started having fun with Logan, my grades started going down. I thought I would get into the university. Pity I missed the interview. I was hanging out at the tree with Logan. I forgot it. My parents will never forgive me for that.

Logan.

Where is he?

I chose him to be my best man because I thought he cared. I'm getting annoyed now. He better stand up from the back of the room and shout "Sorry, forgot my cue!" or something funny like that. He's good at improvising like that. But he doesn't.

I look around.

He's still not there.

He isn't in the audience.

Lilly can see the worry in my face. My hand is beginning to tremble. My wedding will be ruined.

I was hoping he'd pull a 'Logan'. Maybe he'd land a helicopter in the garden and say his speech from there. Maybe he'd organised a band. Please, Logan.

Please.

Lilly stands up.

"Sorry, I think I forgot how many speeches there were! Haha! Well, why doesn't everyone go to the room in the back? There are drinks and a disco!"

She smiles to me. She knows I'm anxious. I don't want to be in a room with loads of people who know what just happened.

I can't believe him.

How could he do this to me?

Abandon me on my wedding day.

But I could never really trust him. He did this a lot. Chickened out whenever he had to face anything. He was confident, but in a strange way. Around me. Not around other people.

Lilly brushes past me with the crowd and whispers in my ear," I'll let you have some time alone. Go find him."

She knows I probably won't find him. She knew him well. I talked about him a lot. I talked about her to him. They were friends. To be honest, I wouldn't marry her if they weren't friends. We were like a big happy family.

Except not big.

Not always happy.

My hand is shaking.

I really can't believe him.

I stand up once everyone had gone.

I have to find him.

I look all around the church. He isn't there. He isn't hiding anywhere. I checked every nook and cranny.

I sit back down in the empty room. I didn't realise how much time I had taken. But Lilly hasn't come to get me. That's good.

I feel a tear starting to run down my cheek. It's cold. It falls into my mouth.

Suddenly, I think of one place he could be.

The tree.

Please let him be by the tree.

I don't want to run. My legs are still shaking.

The light is blinding outside. The sun is bright.

The grass is damp. It squishes beneath my feet.

I can see him now.

He's at the bottom of the tree.

"Logan?"

He doesn't hear me the first time.

"LOGAN?"

He turns, started. His hair is wet, dripping down to the side of his head.

He's been crying. His eyes are red.

His wet T-Shirt stuck to his chest . He had taken his shoes off. He was breathing heavily.

"Y-yes."

"WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS ALRIGHT TO JUST WALK OUT ON ME LIKE THAT?"

"I-I-"

"WHAT, LOGAN? YOU FELT WEIRD? YOU WERE SCARED? STOP BEING A CHILD.

GROW UP."

I can see he's starting to cry again. His tears blend in with the rain on his face.

"Ever since I met you..."

"What, Logan? You hated me??"

"I was in love with you."