being black | justine • keith REWRITING SOME CHAPTERS

being black | chapter one

I'm terrible with punctuation so please bear with me.
* * * * * *
"Never did I think I'd want you, always seen you 'round my way, never had the strength to tell you I kinda, sorta think you're great."
— Escape

J U S T I N E
I walked down the schools hallway trying to avoid eye contact with every person standing out here. I knew they were whispering about me but I told myself if I pretended like they weren't there then they really weren't.

A few words like "blackie", "midnight" and even "charcoal" were being thrown around. That's a new one, charcoal. They're getting a little bit more creative with the nicknames they have for me.

I didn't hate my skin, I never wished to be lighter but I did want the respect I surely deserved. I wasn't going to cry about being black, there's nothing to be ashamed of, but the bullets that come out of these students mouth will knock you down, hard. Every last drop of you will be spilt onto the cold hard concrete and they'll just stand around you and laugh.

There was one boy named Luke James who give me the hardest time but I never disrespected him in anyway, I'd never stoop to his level. It'd make me just as bad as him. His friends would bother me too but not as much. My mom told me people act a certain way because there might be things going on in their lives. Although I know that is true I still believe they know right from wrong but still do the wrong thing just to make themselves feel better. Others misery brings them joy, sadly.

But the thing that triggered me the most was the fact that he was darker than me, but stood out there as if he wasn't black himself. Maybe he didn't like the color God blessed him with. His skin was vibrant, it glowed but I guess people don't see beauty the same way.

Everyday in this school was a battle but I kept a smile on my face. Even though I was getting bothered I knew there were people out there having it much worse.

I held my text book close to my body and watched the ground as I walked. They liked to put their foot out so I can trip, be the whole schools clown. I was in my little bubble of happiness and I won't let them take that away from me, at least not today.

But something told me to look up and when I did, Lord God I wasn't disappointed. There stood a very handsome young man leaning against the rusty army green lockers.

He towered over me completely, freckle constellations covered mostly his cheeks and nose, his skin was light but rich and beautiful. His face was emotionless and hard but when we made eye contact I smiled widely. He let out a little chuckle and smiled then looked at the ground below him.

I seen him around school before but I never really looked at his face. I was always in a rush to leave or do something, too busy to actually speak to the boy, but in that moment those few seconds I was hypnotized. He always sat in the back of the our English class with his hood over his head and earbuds in his ear.

He always had a hoodie on, it's like he didn't want to interact with other people except for a handful. I didn't blame him for not talking to them, they weren't the best company. I knew one of the boys he hung around, Algee smith. He was chill and sweet, we weren't really friends more like acquaintances we talked here and there but nothing serious.

I stopped looking at him and continued my journey to the art room. It was the only place I could really be alone and get away from everyone.

I walked into the pitch black room, the lights turned on automatically as soon as I step foot in. I closed the door behind me and took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. The walls were painted in various of colors, art work hung up everywhere. I took a seat at the nearest table and placed all my supplies before me.

Art was like therapy for me any kind of art. Drawing helped me express the feelings I have without actually opening up my mouth. I didn't know how I was feeling right now, the only thing that was in my mind was him and I didn't even know his damn name.

"Hey Justine, I didn't expect to see you here." My eyes flickered to the direction of a familiar voice. Algee sat in front of me smiling shyly as he got comfortable. I didn't even hear him enter the room.

"I'm always in here Algee. What brings you here?"

"You right, you right. I had to finish a project for Mr. T, man I hate drawing. I'd rather be in music class right now." If there was one thing Algee could do, it was sing. That boy can blow and wasn't afraid to show people that.

"You only hate it because you're bad at it," I laughed which made him give me a stank look. "Hey! Don't look at me like that. You're acting like I'm lying, I'm speaking nothing but facts."

"Girl whatever, were not all good as you Juss. I just need this shit to be decent and I'm set. What are you working on?"

"Nothin." His gaze landed on my blank white paper, confusion was written all over his face.

"Nah something must be wrong, you always working on something even if it's small. Somethin' on your mind?" Algee asked leaning himself closer over the table.

"You know that tall boy you always hang out with?" I started to scribble on my paper, if I looked him in the eye it would be awkward.

"All of my friends are tall, you're gonna have to be a little more specific than that." I groaned and dropped my pencil.

"Okay um he's really tall, has light brown skin with freckles on his cheeks, his jawline is sharp, he always has hoodies on and has earbuds in his ears all the time." Algee looked at me like I was speaking a different language.

"Oh! My man Keith, what about him? You like him or somethin'?"

"No, I seen him in the hallway today and just wanted to know who he was."

"Mhm sure you don't, but imma tell you this because I like you, he doesn't mess around with a lot of people. He's more to himself, a private guy. So if you're trying to get his attention just be yourself. If he doesn't speak to you the first time you approach him don't feel a type of way because he does it to everyone. Shit when I first tried to talk to him he just looked at me, who does that?"

"I don't know man, he smiled at me in the hallway."

"For real? He doesn't smile at anyone, maybe he sees something special in you, you aren't like these other girls though and that's a good thing." Algee said before focusing on his drawing again.

* * * * * *
1187 words. Hopefully this chapter wasn't boring, it's hard for me to make the chapters longer and I repeat myself all the time but I think this is okay.💗