bangtan memories ↠ imagines

''I Know You Won't Love Me'' - Hoseok

"And I ran away with her backpack, and she would chase me around the classroom and everything.. She would grin and I'd grin back... She should be mine by now."

-

You and Hoseok have been sitting at the cafe for a while, and all he talked about was her. How she was so perfect and beautiful and gorgeous. And how so in love he was with her.

"Ahaha, really?" You gave a half-hearted smile, feigning attention. It's not like you found him boring... It was all he talked about these days that you would just hear the same thing over and over and lose interest.

You raised the hot paper cup of coffee to your lips, staring outside the window. Without noticing, the hot insides of the cup poured onto your shirt, and you quickly dropped the cup onto the table. It burned. Tears soon began to form as you sat in place, barely moving.

"(Y/N)!" Hoseok said loudly, he grabbed a pile of napkins, dabbing your chest with it. He prioritized your safety more than knowing that you were uncomfortable. You sat as rigid as possible, him handling you gently. He gave you worried glances, focusing only on you.

These... These  were the little things that you loved about him.

Tears poured down your face. It wasn't only because of the coffee-- it was because you knew he'd never think of you the way you thought of him. The way he thought of her.

You felt his eyes on you as he wiped away your tears with his thumb, bringing your head towards him as your tears stained his shirt. "Let's go," he said, helping you out of your seat and then leaving the cafe as the door chimed on your way out.

The two of you walked in silence, the sun beating down of you both. His hand was on your back, slightly pushing you forward while you walked, and he heard the quiet sobs you tried to hide as you hid your face behind your scarf.

A couple passed by-- a quite attractive one-- and you felt a wave of familiarity come over you. That girl...

Hoseok took off his hand from your back and whipped his head around to look at the couple. Their arms were linked and they were so happy.. Hoseok's face first showed confusion, then immediate sadness.

You then realized...

That girl.

That was the girl he had liked for so long. The girl he would ramble endlessly to you about, with such glee in his eyes that you didn't dare interrupt him.

''I'm planning on telling her the day after tomorrow.. Or.. You know what? I'll just tell her tomorrow!'': You remembered him speak those words earlier at the café, your head nodding along. You weren't paying attention back then, but when you turned your head away from the window to face him, he had the widest grin-- a smile he had never shown to you before.

He was truly happy.

She was the one that made him happy, not you-- no matter how hard you tried.

You couldn't bear to see him like this. Not before it gets worse and.. He'll feel the pain you've felt all this time: He'll love a person who he knows will never return his feelings.

"Hoseok-ah." You firmly grabbed his hand so that he would face you. He looked you in such a hurt way, you couldn't bear to look at this face any longer. "Hoseok-ah, I've liked you. All this time," you paused and looked down, not wanting to see his face.

"You should have noticed! You were so blind love with that girl that you wouldn't even notice me! I was always by your side. I always was there, trying to show you how I feel and you just... You just didn't see me!" Your mouth let out another sob, too caught up with your feelings.

"I want you to look at me like you look at her!" you exclaimed. "I'm telling you this now because I don't want you to feel the way I've been feeling towards you. I don't want you to get hurt." "I don't want you to stop smiling, I don't want you to stop being that fluff of energy that always made me laugh, and I don't want you to lose the Hoseok I've known for my whole life." You then looked up to see that pitiful look on his face.

''Was I really that invisible to you?'' you mumbled, but clear enough that he took a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry (Y/N), I.. I really.." he started, and you lowered your gaze.

Don't say it. Don't let him say it.

"I know you don't feel the same." You gave a cracked smile, restraining the flood of tears that were to come out at any second. "I know you won't love me. I know that you probably.. Never will."