Race to the end

RaceTTEnd 6

I sat with Ribo. The meeting had not gone as well as I had hoped. People had not been happy with Embri’s departure. Of course I knew they wouldn’t, but I hoped that they would be mature about it. Some of them had remained quiet. Rasha, Ribo and History.

Others had made it clear they were unhappy. Their angry words still bounced around the room.

“We should have listened to her!”

“She was a better leader than you’ll ever be”

A pain in my chest caused me to wrap my arms around myself. It was unearthly these feelings. Most of the original group Rasha, Ribo and History were supportive. The others, having not been in the hub for very long, were eager to wage an argument. Rasha and I discussed this afterwards. It was their emotions; apparently a chemical is released and causes them to become excited, to the point of brutality.

No wonder our ancestors are extinct.

Ribo sat with his back to the window his hands laid flat on the table. I stared at the gaps between his fingers. For a while we sat like this pondering what to do. It was then when I broke the silence,

“What are we going to do?” My voice was quiet. Ribo sat silently beside me, giving no answer. A gush of air left my chest. Our hub was divided. Strange how the departure of a key person, mixed with a couple of emotions could break down our hub. Since the beginning there has been a hub, made up of the leaders of each subject or intelligence. This way every part of society had a say in the running of the society. Never had there been the slightest chance of it crumbling.

Never.

I cleared my throat loudly, the noise echoing around the room. Ribo’s eyes looked up into mine and then back down to the table. Another gush of wind left me. I stood and began to pace around the room. We couldn’t re-elect new members to take over the positions of the ones opposed. That never solved anything. It merely swept the problem “under the rug”. No I had to be careful. I thought.

What option did I have?

 I had to resign.

It was the only way to end this. If it was better for the Hubbard that I did this, then it is what I must do. I turned to Ribo, sitting in the same position as before. I walked to his side and then said barely a whisper,

“I am going to resign” His eyes flew to my face and he search it. His eyes then locked onto mine. I tried to remain calm, but the swirling cocktail of emotions was devouring me. He stood slowly. I watched him cautiously. He came closer to me. He pulled at a piece of my hair never breaking eye contact. I took a deep breath, finding my breathing was ragged. He took my hand, lacing his fingers around mine.

“No, you are not” His voice was final. I shook my head, trying to clear the daze in my mind. He continued to stare at me. I stepped backwards and let go of his hand.

“But it is the only thing that I can do” I sucked in my breath. “The others will not obey me otherwise. It is better for us.” I made a cutting motion in the air, showing my decision was final. He came close again. My breath caught in my throat as his hand placed lightly on my shoulder, drawing me closer. I felt dazed… shocked. Overcome with emotion, is the reference I would use. His closeness comforted me. I didn’t want to ever pull away. His other hand landed on my other shoulder. He gently gripped them and pulled me closer to him.

My breath danced on his face and his on mine.

Our eyes were centimetres from each other.

 Our noses brushed each other. We stood like this for a while. He seemed unsure of something.

That’s when it happened.

As if lightning had struck my brain, an idea loomed in my head. I pulled away and thought. It would work, it has to. The only other option. I had never imagined it would come to this. I thought it had to be me. But no, I knew what to do.

I turned to Ribo who still stood where we were. A small smile formed on my face and his eyes clouded over in confusion. He motioned with his hand for me to explain to him what was going through my mind.

I collected my thoughts hoping that they would make sense to him as much as they did to me. Another wave of emotion took me, happiness. I didn’t have to resign. Of course if my idea worked.

“We will go to look for her” I watched him closely, to check his reaction. He seemed to ponder the idea over. Emotions ranging from confusion to indifference played over his face. In the end, it fixed at a look of determination.

“Yes, that is what we must do” He nodded, seemingly happy with the decision. “But…” He seemed apprehensive “What do we do if and when we have found her?” The question made me pause. We had to keep her happy. This meant, ultimately, I had to resign. I shook my head.

“We will talk to her, if she wants to come back then we shall discuss terms” I paused and wet my lips “If she doesn’t, then we decide then what to do” He watched me, his face set in stone. He nodded though, sending confidence through me. “Would you put together a list of suitable people to accompany us?”

“Us?” He looked quizzical. The familiar burning feeling filled my cheeks. I took another breath.

“I assumed that you and I would go” I murmured. He smiled at me, a sight that was rare.

“Very well” He then left the room to write down a list. As he went I yelled a few instructions: Half had to be on the opposing side of us and only 6 people needed to go. He nodded at these and then left to make the arrangements.

I felt much better. Now we could sort this out like the intellects we are, instead of letting these feelings run havoc in our minds. We were civilised. If I truly believed this, then why in the pit of my stomach did I regret my decision?