Turn Upon the Wheel

For CheshireKitty0918 , who deserves this TID fic

Tessa could recall the exact day it had happened. Unlike Will, James' death had been swift and painless, a far cry from his past "death"—a car accident.

It was first day of January, on their way to Blackfriars Bridge. It had nearly been noon, nearly been their highest point. She was going to take the dagger Will had left Jem and give it to him properly, so that they could hold this last piece of the broken, wild-haired, blue-eyed boy who had never aged, not for either of them.

She had turned, laughing, her hair blowing across her face, beckoning him across the street.

And then there was a sickening crunch, a gasp of pain, and a scream she could hardly recognize as her own. People flooded out of cars, trying to call an ambulance, while Tessa attempted to summon the Enclave. Jem had not been a Shadowhunter then, but the blood of angels still burned through his veins, so surely, she had thought wildly, surely he could be healed with their runes of healing, of power. Or he could be made to last until her red-haired goddaughter, Clary Morgenstern, arrived with her powers over the Marks of the Nephilim—

And then she had seen Jem's eyes.

They were silver.

He smiled at her—and at someone else, she realized in shock, as his gaze had flickered over to her shoulder. All of the sudden she was back in the nineteenth century, watching as a beautiful boy wrought of moonlight and silver lowered his violin, opening those remarkable silver eyes.

"Will?" Jem had said, ignoring the blood spilling down his chin, still staring over her shoulder, silver eyes wide with wonder. "Is that you, Will?"

Tessa had whipped her head over her shoulder, but nothing was there, no one was there. A sob built up in her throat and Jem's gaze flickered back to her with some effort. A gentle smile crossed his features. "Zài suǒyǒu de shìjiè shàng, nǐ shì wǒ zuì ài de," he breathed.

In all the world, you are what I love most.

Tessa clutched at Jem's hand. "Don't leave me," she had begged. "Don't leave me."

"I told you, Tessa," he had said, voice weakening. "I love you in this life, and I will love you in the next, and the life after that."

"But I will not be in those lives," she had whispered, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Jem's silver gaze had shifted slowly from her eyes to where he clearly believed Will was. "Then we will find you," he responded, eyes fluttering closed. He opened them again with what seemed like a herculean effort, landing on the clockwork angel she had worn today, just for today, and the necklace he had given her all those years ago.

Then he had smiled, and he had slipped away.

Not again, Tessa had thought wildly. Not again, not again, not again. I cannot bear it, I cannot—

But she had been too late.

Jem Carstairs was gone.

Now, twenty years later, she was breaking away from the people she loved, who had surrounded her and comforted her for those past  years. Clary and Jace had tried to avoid her at first, fearing any unwelcome reminders of Will, but after the first months she had started to seek them out, wanting to be with her last descendant---the last that wanted to see her, anyway. The last that could understand. She told him story after story of William, all of which he and Clary seemed increasingly eager to hear.