Anemone

Violet: Heart

Winter came and he was still in his hometown. His parents were ecstatic that he finally found his way to them and had him visit weekly until he decided to fly back. At least his hospital was liberal in the time off they gave— the Dean of Medicine had actually been hedging on him to take a vacation since he'd never had the inclination to do so.

I'd better not see you back here for a long time, Yeo! she'd snapped. I saw your records and noticed you not take days off at any other hospital you worked at either. What are you, a machine? If you ever prematurely step foot on these grounds before your time is up I'll hand you ass to you myself!

The Dean of Medicine was a very colorful individual.

But it seemed he was at a loss now. Amias had been avoiding visiting Nivek for as long as he could and built himself up to it until Seona informed that he didn't even live in the city anymore. Nivek had gone and moved somewhere far after the divorce and said he could call once he'd completely settled into his new life.

"Divorce?" he questioned. Amias spooned some macaroni and cheese into Aneta's mouth as Seona sighed from the kitchen.

"I'm not surprised you haven't heard," she said. "He left about the same time you came back. Not sure where, but he mentioned something about getting his life together before talking about what happened."

She eyed him as he washed down the counter with a damp rag. He pursed his lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"He's your soulmate. Maybe it's time you do something about it."

He wiped Aneta's mouth with her bib before continuing to feed her, ignoring the scowl on his friend's face as she balled the rag and chucked it at his arm. It hit with nothing but a light tap and he went quiet the rest of lunch.

Amias supposed getting kicked out of her house until the end of the week was a fair exchange for his silence. He knew she was only worried, but what was he going to do? Swoop in and tell Nivek: "Hey, I've known we were soulmates since we were teenagers. Surprise!"?

It didn't work like that. Nivek deserved his happiness and deserved to fall in love with whoever he saw fit.

He deserved it as long as he never gained a collection of purple tallies like he did.

Worn combat boots left prints in the snow as Amias walked down the dimly lit street of a commercial area. It was bustling more than usual, and he should've known better than to take this route where there was a business convention in town. He kept his head down and his face tucked in his scarf as he weaved thought the masses of suits. Until, he accidentally bumped into one when he was nearly in the clear.

Amias glanced up.

"Sor—"

He froze. Bright hazel eyes stared back at him, wide-eyed and shocked, as the platinum blond hair gelled to the side told him exactly who he was looking at.

Bright, loud, funny.

Electric.

"Sorry," Amias murmured. He took a step back. "Sorry. Sorry."

"Amias...?" the other whispered. "It's... I thought I'd never see you—Amias, wait!"

"No, Elroy," he bit out. His fingers curled into his palms like a touch-me-not as he kept his distance. "You weren't supposed to see me. I made a mistake coming here."

Elroy took a step forward to try and make up the ground that expanded between them. His freckled face scrunched up in pain at the sight of Amias looking so scared and so hurt, and it made his heart crumple up that much more.

"I— you left so quickly before I could— I-I'm so sorry—"

"You could've just left me three years ago," Amias hissed, though he could barely muster animosity behind those words. Elroy flinched. "You could've just left me when you stopped loving me and we could've been fine, but you ran a red marker over your pink tally every day."

He brought the coat tighter around himself and fled the scene as quickly as he could, pushing himself back through the suits and back the direction he came from. He wanted to ignore the calls from behind him as well as the footfalls that grew louder until they were too caught up in the crowds of the city nightlife.

"Amias!" he heard a cry from behind. He didn't look back and ran faster. "Amias, please!!"

He didn't know how long he ran for, but went as fast as his feet could take him until he stumbled upon the river side and took refuge beneath the cluster of leafless trees. He dropped himself onto the damp earth and curled in on himself, ashamed.

He hated when he did this.

Amias' phone vibrated in his pocket, and he sniffed and answered.

"Hello?"

"Amias!" a cheerful voice exclaimed from the other end. "I know it's been a while since I called, but I've been up to a lot of stuff with moving and, well, I bet Seona's already told you about all that already, huh?"

He set his chin on his knees and watched the birds chirp and hop by.

"Yeah."

"Man, I wanted to tell you everything myself, but I guess it can't be helped. Anyway, I was wondering where you moved to. I'm staying in Apri City now and—"

"Me too."

"—what?"

"I live there too," Amias replied. His lips trembled, his tears starting again as he tried to wipe them away with the back of his hand while making sure to muffle his hiccups.

He didn't want to move again.

"Really?! That's so lucky! I can't believe we're finally going to live in the same place again. I missed you so much, you know?" Nivek sighed. Amias could almost see that wide grin on his face, probably sitting on a wall or rail as he kicked his legs back and forth. "You free anytime soon? We could go get something to eat and catch up."

He watched a bird meet another at the center of the frozen river. They flapped around for a bit before one landed on a rock and hopped.

He didn't want to keep loving him.

"I'm out of town."

"Oh. When you get back, then?"

"Maybe."

Nivek went quiet for a while, and Amias took that time to reach into his pocket and pull out a half eaten sandwich. Seona made it for him before shoving it into his hood and kicking him out of her house. He broke off some of the crust and tossed it towards the birds.

"... Hey. Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?"

"How come you don't talk to me anymore?" he asked quietly. Amias shut his eyes. "Whenever I call you, you answer in short sentences or with one word and I know you can talk more than that. We talked all the time before and I know it's not a distance thing because you and Seona can talk for hours. Are... Are you tired of me?"

"No," he replied immediately. "I could never get tired of you."

"Then why is it like this?!"

He felt Nivek's distress make ugly figure eights on his heart.

"Because you deserve better."

He pressed 'end call' and switched his phone to silent.

The world would keep spinning, the birds would keep chirping, and one day, winter would melt into spring, and Nivek would fall in love with someone else and be happy.

When that happened, Amias only hoped there would be more leaves for him to count.