Senior Standoff | RETIRED VERSION

Season 4 - Episode 3 | NOT REVISED

I rolled out of bed to the sound of my alarm. My eyes caught my reflection in the mirror across the room. A mess. Just the way I'd looked when I fell asleep. Just the way I was going to look all day. The last thing I wanted today was to spend time dolling myself up and pretend I was okay.

My hair was a bit frizzy wrapped up in a messy bun, my eyes tired. They were still a bit red from all the crying I'd done. At least I had a small comfort in wearing a big, soft sweatshirt and leggings.

With my backpack on my shoulder, I started down the steps and got hit with an unfortunate realization: who was I going to school with? There wasn't a chance I would ask Asher. Even if he agreed, I couldn't bear to sit in that car with him again. That left Ky. We could ride in a car with each other without acknowledging each other, couldn't we?

"Ky," I said to him as he threw a plastic cup in the sink. It was strange speaking directly to him like this. As expected, he ignored me. "I need a ride to school."

He didn't say anything, or even look in my direction. But I caught the slight nod of his head and breathed a sigh of relief. I had a ride.

I followed him outside. He unlocked both car doors. It was cold and quiet as we got in the car and got rolling. We were halfway to school when my phone vibrated in my lap. I was expecting it to be Liv, since I'd told her everything last night. But it wasn't. It was Asher.

Are you okay?

No. No I wasn't fucking okay. Not when he ruined Valentine's Day. Definitely not when he recoiled at me saying, "I love you." No matter how many good intentions were behind his text message, I could only feel bitter. And I wasn't about to reply.

"You know, you were right about Asher," I said quietly. Maybe it was stupid to try to complain to Ky, but I just wanted to say it to someone who wouldn't defend him. Someone who was going to be on my side about this one. "After everything, he just tossed me aside last night."

Ky still didn't say anything to me, but he didn't have to. Just being able to gush about how upset I was was enough for me.

"I just really thought he felt the same, you know? After all those dates and telling me how much I meant to him? And I know all that happened, and that we were close, but it's still hard not to feel like I wasn't any more than a fuck for him."

Tears burned my eyes. I quickly pressed my hands into my eyelids and tried to wipe the water away. Not now. I didn't want to go into school with my eyes red and watery.

"Stop crying," Ky said quietly. My head shot up and I looked over at him. What the fuck just happened?

"Did you just?" I asked.

Ky hesitated. "This isn't like, a truce or anything. I'm still upset about everything that happened. But you shouldn't be crying over that wank rag."

"I know, but he's my best friend. It's hard not to feel like he shoved a knife in my back."

Ky's quiet laughter was low and damaged. "Yeah, I know all about that."

"Can we not get into that right now?"

"Look, did you really think Asher would be any different? You know how he is. Everyone knows how he is."

"Everyone thinks they know him." I crossed my arms, staring at my lap. "But he's not everything the rumors make him out to be. He's a real person, not just some hellboy he pretends to be. After letting me in like that, I just thought..."

What did I think? That he would change who he was and make me his girlfriend? He'd told me before. I knew what this was, and let I myself believe otherwise.