Letters From Laura

26

Dear Journal,

I met my grandfather, Thomas Ridley, today after the funeral. As they prepared to lower the tiny coffin into the ground I was trying to look anywhere but at Claire or Victoria or Dad. That's when I saw him-Ridley. He was standing next to Ms. Merwin, holding her hand surrounded by gaggles of relatives and friends of the family I've never met. We accidentally made eye contact and I tried to convey to him that I knew. I didn't know everything but I knew who he was. Maybe he got the message because he instantly let go of Merwin's hand and retreated away from the burial site.

Suddenly the small hole was being filled with dirt and I felt both ashamed and relieved that I had missed my half-brother being permanently settled into the ground. Everyone came to Claire and dad and even Victoria to pay their respects but nobody even glanced at me. Either they didn't know who I was or they didn't feel that I was really grieving enough to be approached.

I walked back to the manor alone.

I walked through the servants entrance, not wanting to be caught up in the throng of people that would inevitably make their way to the parlor for tea and pity food.

I made to find my way to my room when I heard Ms. Merwin... giggling. I thought she was back at the family plot with everyone else. The sound was coming from the laundry room and the door was slightly ajar.

"Oh, Tommy!" She squealed. And as I looked through the crack in the door I saw Ridley and Ms. Merwin hugging each other as he kissed her neck. The sight was so disgusting I felt faint. I grabbed the door to steady myself but forgot it was open. The door swung wide and then there I was witnessing a shamefully private moment.

"You!" Merwin said, her face getting hot. "What are you doing-" but my eyes weren't on her or Ridley anymore. There was a big duffel bag filled with silverware, silk napkins, and a pile of what looked like Claire's jewelry, along with other items we thought were misplaced, right behind them on the floor.

"You've been stealing." I said in a whisper. Ridley slammed the door shut behind me and told me to sit down.

His shocking white hair was wild from either the wind or his snogging session and his eyes were blood shot. As I sank into a wooden chair next to the laundry machine he leaned in close to me.

"You little bitch. You look just like her, you know that?" He was so close to me I could see the holes where his whiskers grew. "Your mother caused me grief and now here you are, taking her place. I should have known 15 years was too long." He growled.

"What do we do, Thomas? She's seen the bag." Ms. Merwin said wringing her hands. "She'll tell someone."

She was right of course. But the look on Thomas Ridley's face was not the look of a cuddly grandfather. It was the look of a desperate man and I thought perhaps that he was planning on killing me. This was not how I wanted to die.

"I won't tell anyone." I said.

"Like hell you won't." Ridley spat and started pacing the floor.

"Thomas, we just need enough time to get to the train station." Merwin said.

"You're my grandfather. Don't hurt me." I said, trying to summon an innocent facial expression.

"Oh, so you know about that, eh?" He stopped pacing and rubbed his face. "Well your damned mother never brought you to see me, did she? I don't want to be your family, girl."

"Okay. Fine. Look, I have questions. About my mom. Let's make a deal, then. You tell me what I want to know and I won't tell anyone about...whatever you're planning."