Letters From Laura

22

Journal,

I realize my last entry was brief and not very descriptive but it had just happened and I couldn't think straight.

He, the baby, is dead. And I witnessed it. In fact it was only me in there with Claire and I can't help but blame myself even though the doctor and even Claire herself have told me it is not my fault.

Here is what happened:

The power had gone out and as I wrote previously, I went to find someone to ask if it would come back on soon. It was the middle of the day and yet because of the storm everything had an eerie glow to it. I couldn't see very well in the hall and I remember thinking

This feels truly sinister.

I reached the staircase and looked at the window above it. It looked as if someone was spraying the glass with a high pressured hose but I knew it was just the rain. I quickly went down the steps when there was a sudden burst of noise. The sound of shattered glass and gushing water along with something heavily thunking. I turned around and fragments of glass showered around me and cut my arm.

A tree branch had flown through the window I had just been looking through. Grateful I hadn't loitered any longer in front of it, I ran as fast as I could to the East wing.

As I reached downstairs the power turned back on. I saw Nancy, Merwin and other employees rushing about from the kitchen to the laundry room and everywhere in between trying to prepare for the storm which was already causing damage.

I decided to go find Victoria, since I couldn't go back to my room.

At the top of the staircase to the East wing I saw Claire. She was sitting in front of Victoria's open door and she was crying.

I contemplated going to the library or anywhere else, really but Claire looked over and saw me.

Her eyes widened not unlike Victoria's do and she quickly swiped away her tears "Good God, Laura! Are you alright?" She exclaimed and tried to get up but with her big belly in the way it was hard work. I went over and helped her up. I noticed she was barefoot.

"Oh no, you're bleeding! What happened? Oh come on, let's clean you up, then." She gently took my arm and led me into her room and then her loo. She was being nice to me.

She got out cotton and antiseptic scrub and began to clean my arm.

"A tree branch busted a window on the west staircase." I said when she asked me again what had happened.

She puckered her lips and shook her head. "Well, you'll live in any case."

"Where's Victoria? And dad?" I asked once she had put away the first aid supplies.

"Your father took her into town to visit the book store. I told them not to go-there would be a storm but he said they would be back before it got bad." She started to cry again. "They're not back yet. Oh God, they're not back yet."

My heart sunk. Perhaps they found shelter in town? I was scared. I only had Claire but she was emotional and pregnant and I thought the only reason she was being nice to me was because she was scared for Victoria.

Once her crying had stopped she made to move out of the loo and I followed. But without warning Claire stuck her hand out and pushed me in the stomach so I was forced to stumble back into the toilet. And then I saw the window in the bedroom shatter just as the one on the staircase had. Claire quickly slammed the door shut.

"Are you alright?" She asked and sat down on the tub next to me.

I looked at her and saw only genuine compassion. Did she not really hate me? She just saved my life.

"Fine." I said "Thank you."

She kept staring at me and told me I looked beautiful, like my mother.

I can't continue right now. It makes me too sad.

-L