Badass Nerd

Your sausage is smaller than a used toothpick

Chapter 2: Your sausage is smaller than a used toothpick

"Jayden Niall O'Connell!"
I yell at Jay as he forcefully tries to break into my dorm room.

"Emily Alexa Jackson! Let me in!" he yells back while continuing to push on the door. My body is now completely leaning on the wooden frame to keep it from opening and letting Jayden in.

"Jay, why do you even want to come in here?" I question.

"Because I dont want to spend time with freakin' Brianna"  He replies and for some reason I am not surprised.

I dont blame Jay for not wanting to be with Brianna, nobody except her plastic friends can deal with her for more than five minutes. Poor Jay, sometimes I feel bad knowing his second year of college is being spent with an arrogant little girl. His first roomate's name was Alexander,  we were really good friends until he left to study in another state.

"If you let me come in I'll buy you pizza tomorrow" I scrunch my face at his proposal. Pizza is one of my favorite foods and Jay knows that.

"But I had pizza today with Brooklyn and Isaac" I say while  recaping the memory of the delicious treat in my mouth.

Suddenly I hear a loud groan comming from the other side of the door and then the strange feeling of my body crushing against the wooden floorboards followed by a noisy smash. Everything around me goes blurry for a few seconds before I realize what Jay just did. Taking a few moments to calm down and catch my breath, I bring my left hand up and start massaging my temples. HE FUCKIN DROPPED ME!

"What the fuck you big baboon!" I yell agrily at Jay who is now crouching over, his evil laughter filling the room. The color in his face heats up and his laugh starts to die down due to the missing oxygen in his body. That big idiot.

"Well are you going to stop laughing and help me up or not?"

He holds up his index finger in response signaling for me to wait until he can breath again. His black hair is now messily on his head and his usual pale skin a bright shade of red.

"Are you done yet?" I ask still laying on the floor staring up at the idiot of a best friend I have.

Jayden simply nods and bends down picking my whole body up from the floor and throwing me on his right shoulder with his arm strongly holding me, in case I fall off. Most people would be scared to be carried by a 6'2 boy but through the years I have gotten used to it. Sometimes, during middle school when I complained about my height Jayden would give me a ride on his shoulders just to make me feel better.

I love Jayden but sometimes I just want to punch his teeth out.

"Enjoying your view?"
He snaps me out of the middle school memories and I suddenly realize I have been staring at his ass while I spaced out. I didn't mind the view, Jayden didn't have a small ass but it wasn't huge either it was actually just right for him.

"Actually I am" I admit as a playfull smirk crawls its way on my face.

"I dont blame you I mean I am irresistible" He responds and drops me on the bed next to him.

"Youre so full of yourself"

I fixiate the blankets on myself and reach for the T.V remote next to Jay's leg.

"Woah there shortie don't get too close to the sausage" Jay's words catch me off guard and my mouth immediately hangs open while my gaze stays on the remote.

"Surprised at the size?" he questions and this time I don't stay quiet.

"Jayden no offence but your sausage is small" now its his turn to hang his mouth open while I laugh.

"How do you know?"

His question brings back a memory from 7th grade when my mom insisted on making me a birthday party. She also insisted we get a water trampoline, Jay was overly excited about using it that he forgot his underwear while getting dressed. Fortunately it was only him and I on the trampoline.

"Remember that one time whe-"

I am cut off my Jay's body completely on top of me and both his hands convering my mouth.

"We never speak of that incident"
I am only able to mumble through his monster hands while the memories of his sausage come back to me. Gross.

Jay's eyes are staring bluntly at mine, his face only inches away from me. I can feel his warm breath as it sends chills down my spine. There is no love chemistry between us, there never was and there never will be; but even though were best friends sometimes we do share cute moments.

"Move off me Jay" I plead and  break the stare. He whispers something under his breath that sounds disappointed and uncomfortable.

"Fine, but no more talking about my crotch" His tone of voice changes again to playfull and even child like.

"But Jayden you have to admit your crotch it as small as a used toothpick"

"It grew" he says a little ashamed and trying to justify himself for the incident. He's right maybe it did grow because we were only in 7th grade back then.

"Awe poor Jayden O'Connell is ashamed"

He turns to face me and places one of his monster hands on my leg.

"If you ever bring up the incident I will tell everyone about that one time in 6th grade when-

My eyes widen in surprise as I realize what he is implying........maybe I was lying when I said there was never love chemistry between us.

"SHUT UP JADEN OR I WILL KILL YOU AND SACRIFICE YOUR SOUL!" I yell and once again the room is filled with his evil laughter.

What did I ever do to deserve this dumbass of a best friend?

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Hey guys I hope you're enjoying the book and I just wanted to than all of ya'll for reading

If you have any questions or suggestions just leave them down in the comments section.

Hopefully I have more time to write because I really enjoy it.....even though I suck

Well bye LOVE YA!💗💗

XDneverXD