Darkness Is My Only Friend

Freaky Fruit Baskets

This step in the plan was simple, but crucial. Possibly the MOST CRUCIAL. There were 7 fruit basket stores in our town. WE gotta find da best damn fruit store for Jake. So he will fall hopelessly in love with Stacy.

"Okay, so the first store. Fresh fruits for fresh fritters"

As we walk in our plan starts crumbling into pieces. The old grandma we punched in the save is standing there talking to a customer She looks up and my heart stop as her deep brown soulless eyes bare into my soul.

"YOU!" She bellows at Stacy. "Get OUTTA MY STORE HILLBILIES" she screams, and as she hisses her fake teeth fall out of her mouth to the floor. She then hissed at us crazily. I find myself gaining more and more respect for this crazy old woman, even though she wants us to die. She then reaches to her cane and PULLS OUT A SWORD. It has dragons engraved on the handle.

My heart races and i get pissed at myself. SHE WILL NOT INTIMIDATE MEEE. I look for a weapon, when my eyes meet Stacy's. I then know what I have to do. I grab her waist and heave her up harpoon style.

"AGGGGHHHGGG WHAT THE FRIG" Stacy yells.

"Sorry Stacy but sacrifices must be made" I say dramatically. I hurl Stacy at the elderly woman. However, I miss the woman and throw Stacy at the floor.

"Well... Shit" I mutter to myself. The elderly woman charges at me and I impulsively move to the side to trip her

She does a cartwheel to avoid tripping and lands perfectly on her feet. "HIYAHHHHHHH LIL BISH" she yells

"I feel like this isn't a fair fight, I mean you have a sword and my only weapon is unconscious" I say to her

"The issue with kids these days is you lack creativity. The world is full of weapons if you're creative enough"

"Imma be honest, I don't really wanna fight you. It isn't cause you're old as hell I'd totally still pulverise you if I didn't respect you so much.

"Ugh this is so annoying. I just want a fruit basket I don't have time for impromptu fights with 400 year old crazed lunatics. I have bigger fish to fry. I have a nemesis to DESTROY."

"Come young child, you have much to learn" The old lady sheaths her sword and leads me to the back of the store.

As I look around the shop I see it. THE fruit basket.

"I'll tell you what, I'll be your ally of you do me a favour.." says grandma.

"Why should I care grandma? What can you even do to help me?"

"IM NOT YOUR GRANDMA! Fight me! I'm only 31!"

"31  in cat years maybe" I snap back.

"Ay dawg stfu, your mission is to help me find my daughter yo"

"Bitch tf? Who would wanna do you?"

"If you don't stop sassing real soon you'll be leaving in a body bag." Grandma snipped.

"FIGHT MEEE" I screamed at her.

"You want a fruit basket basket or not bitch? Find  my kid, her names.." I cut her off shortly after.

"Wait wait.. why do you even want to find your kid? Is there a catch to this?"

"No no, no strings attached." She said. "I put her up for adoption was I was in my 20s, haven't seen her since."

"Wow she must be like what? 70 now." I asked.

"I told you I'M 31 BISH SHES LIKE YOUR AGE" grandma was getting mad now.