You started tossing and turning in bed, eventually you got tired of being uncomfortable. You turned your head toward the nightstand with the alarm clock set on top of it. It was 4:30 in the morning. You slid out of bed as quite and motionless as you could so you wouldn't wake your boyfriend Alan up. he tossed a little bit, but still sound asleep.
You head to the bathroom that was connected to your room you shared with Alan. You turn the light on closing the bathroom door behind you. After you were done doing your business, you washed you hands, then rinsed your face to feel a little refreshed. After dabbing your face dry with a towel you looked up at the mirror. You stared pretty hard, disgusting thoughts came to mind. You've never had the highest self-esteem, and very little confidence in yourself. Eventually you got yourself worked up and started to cry. You sat on the bathroom floor just crying wondering how you even keep up with yourself. How Alan can even love someone as ugly and fat as you felt. Glancing at the light pink marks left on your arm. Bad thoughts ran through your mind. You took a deep breath in and exhaled, wiping the tears off your face. You use to self harm, you haven't in a while because you've promised Alan that you'd get better, and he's honestly given you reasons to pit the blade down. He's there for you whenever you need to vent, or to even just cry. Although you feel like he's only with you for pity, he's really great to you.
You were still on the floor letting out the bit of tears you had left in you. Just minutes, Alan opens the door rubbing his eyes. He looks down at you with your legs pulled up to your face. You hadn't noticed he walked into you a me like this. "Baby, (Y/N). What is wrong?" you jumped a little, startled from the sound of his voice. You stood up, wiping your eyes dry. "I-I'm fine." you said with a smile. Alan gave you a look. "Babe, you're not fine. Something is bothering you, what is it?" He pulled you into a tight hug as your bottom lip started to quivered. You were trying to hold back the tears you thought weren't left in you. Whenever someone asked you if you were okay, seemed to make you cry more. Your face was Nuzzled up to his neck as he held you around you waist, "I just hate myself so much. I can't look in the mirror and think to myself any positivity. Then I think about all those times people have ever called me fat and ugly, and that's literally all I see. I'm sick of feeling this way, and I don't understand how you can love me, and kiss m-" Alan cut you off, he placed his hands on your shoulders, you both are looking each other dead in the eyes. He looked like he was about to cry himself. "(Y/N) You are the most beautiful human being I've ever laid my eyes on. The way you think and look at yourself and anything anyone has ever said to you, to make yourself feel bad about the way you look, they're lying. They have no clue what they're talking about, they're wrong about it all. It kills me when you put yourself down like that. You have the most beautiful (your eye colour) eyes i have ever seen, and that most bright smile that makes me weak every time I see it, and how your nose does that cute thing when you laugh, and your laugh.. It's heartwarming and I love it." he starts to smile as he says all this, which made you smile too. He was so sweet to you, and made feel so special and happy with everything he says and does for you. You though how were you even lucky enough to have such an amazing boyfriend, who cares so much. "You're absolutely beautiful and I'm going to remind you everyday until you see how perfect you are. I'm going to remind you how beautiful you are even after, so I know you'll never forget it. You're perfect the way you are and nothing less. I love you, all of you. So please don't listen to what they say, and stop putting yourself down like that." You had the biggest smile on your face right now, and you were still crying, this time they were happy tears. He made you feel so loved, and had you some what convinced that those people were wrong. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed Him. "I love you so much Alan. I don't know what I'd do without you, I think I'd be lost without you to be honest." He smiles and let out a laugh. "Ha," He looked down and smiled, to look back up at you. he does that when he tries to hide his feelings. he did that on your first date together. "I love you too (Y/N). And i know I'd be lost without you." he said smiling. "I'm sure you'd be fine," He rolled his eyes while shaking his head a little. but I'm glad we have each other." You continued, He placed a kiss on your lips again. "I am too. Do you feel okay now though?" he asked you. "Yes, I'm fine. thank you." you said. "Promise?", "Promise." "Okay, well I have to pee really bad, and if I don't go now I'm probably going to pee my pants." he said with a smile on his face. You looked down, and let out a laugh. "You're not even wearing any pants." You left the bathroom back to your bed waiting for Alan. When he was done he came back, placed a movie into the DVD player and made his way next to you. The two of you guys spent your morning cuddling and watching movies for the rest of the morning.
