Shh, Just Kiss Me (18+)

f i f t y - f o u r

Matt completely disappeared off the face of the Earth. I haven't heard from him. He stopped talking to me. It was like he didn't even exist, to begin with. I think I hurt him pretty bad and it's making me feel detrimental. This guilt building up in my stomach is making me feel nauseous and severely corrupted.

I wish he could've said something. I swear, I'm over him but seriously if you have something to say, fucking communicate!

I  noticed the look Zoe was giving me while holding the menu in her hand. One side of her lip was grasped between teeth. She looked creepily nervous like she was hiding something.

"Um, is there something you want to tell me?" I asked. She looks down shyly while putting the menu to the side. Her hands fold together and her head low to meet me in the eyes.

"Nothing." She said.

"Want to talk about it?" She opens up the menu again as her eyes scatter and get lost between the pictures.

"It's nothing, really. I just keep getting flooded with school work n' all." She said.

"Okay," I said. Out of nowhere—

"Well, Matt told me to tell you he said goodbye." I stared at her in utter shock pretending what I just heard isn't the truth. I was caught off guard.

"What?" I blurted out. A waiter came by to take our orders.

"Matt told me to tell y—"

"I know what you said, but why wouldn't he tell me?"

"That's what I'm trying to understand." She gives me a look as if she knew I was hiding something as if there was more to the story. "Look if you guys had a fight it is okay to talk it out. I'm here to help you get through it, Jay. You guys were all snugly, hugs, and kisses. It's strange that you guys would drift apart so quickly. It hasn't been a month yet or has it? What's going on?"

"Explain to me how and when he told you this?"

Zoe brushes her braids back. She rubs her lips together and interlocks her fingers.

"I ran into him at a show in Soho. He knew the person who was performing—I happen to know the person who was performing because, I too, was invited by the same person and then boom we talked or whatever. Next thing I know, he brought your name up—fast forwarding," She was out of breath. "He said he felt like you are emotionally unavailable and that he got this funny vibe that someone else was in the picture and refused to keep himself in a situation that didn't make him emotionally satisfied." Zoe finished in a rush.

"I think he found out about Damon. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to stop him. Why did he come back for me?"

"Maybe he loves you. He wouldn't come back to you if he knew things wouldn't work out. Look, I've known Matthew for a long time. He's changed, like, a lot and it scares the crap out of me because it's too good to be true."

"I know he loves me, Zoe. But why did it take him this long to figure it out?"

"Maybe he didn't want to force it."

"I don't love him, Zoe. That's why he left." I responded jumping into millions of conclusions.

" You don't know for sure. Possibly."

"I feel like that was an excuse to ghost me. I know he's upset that I don't love him back. Do you know what he told me? He wanted to expand his empire with me by his side. He wants me to be his girl. This is my entire fault. I shouldn't have led him on." I said. "He's so mad."

"Honestly speaking, relax. If it's truly meant to be, true love will manifest." She said.

I've never been in this kind of situation before.

First, a gorgeous man comes into my life and gives me one hell of an adventure. Then, my ex decides to crawl back in when he feels like it so he can win me back in a snap.

The waiter had disturbed us while delivering our food.

"I think maybe you should not make that your main focus right now. You're both young, I'm hungry as fuck. I think we should eat!" Zoe rushed the waiter to hand over her drink. "Look on the bright side, you're not pregnant like you thought you were, you're dad is not going to kill you. It's all good in the hood."

I was silenced. I didn't know what to say. This conversation slowly killed my appetite.

As I stared blankly behind Zoe. She was attacking her tray of fries. She was making moaning sounds while taking huge bites out of her burger.

Right as I looked away from her for a moment, a little tall figure appears to the side from a distance like a light flickering in the darkness. Then, it got closer like whatever he or she wants wanted a better view of whatever it was spying on.

"What are you looking at? You look weird." She said. I wanted to mention it to her but my gut tells me she'll debunk it.

I put my focus back on the mysterious stranger from across the street. Zoe was preaching a storm about whatever she was saying. I was zoned out.

"Jaide, what the fuck?"

"Yes?" I responded shockingly. She wiped her mouth and cleared her throat with her bottle of water.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Something about Rakim?" Honestly, his name was the only thing I heard her say. She sucked her teeth. She forgave my foolishness anyway and repeated herself.

"I said...he...wants me to join his label." I almost choked on my fries. "Yea, a bunch of investors believes he and I could make an iconic duo so they're helping us build our image. I'm so happy." She joyfully jumped in her seat. Wow, my best friend is finally getting the career she wanted all her life.

"Zoe, what? That's fucking amazing!" I playfully punched her on the arm. I felt like that wasn't enough so I got out of my seat and gave her one of those 'I'm proud of you hugs'.

"Can you fucking believe, I, Zoe, is going to be reorganized world bloodclot wide?!" We lowly screamed because we didn't want to disturb the guests.

"Listen, just remember I'm definitely your date to every award show," I stated. For some reason as happy as I was for her, I couldn't stop thinking about the mysterious stranger across the street.

I was getting weird vibes from a distance. Their presence was bothering me. What is it you want? Need?

"Anyway my parents want you to spend Thanksgiving with us. Bring your peeps!"

"Oh, I don't know. My mom is doing the same thing."

"We'll do it together at my parents' house. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy!"

"Eeee.."

"We can do it all together at my house. Just bring ya folks mk."

I shrugged my shoulders. I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind. Plus, she might want that desperate break from cooking every Holiday.