Plain: Book 2

Ghost Dreams of Being A Wall

Small. Small. Smaller yet. I had to be small; become the corner, become the wall. The door would open, but I'd be flat, I'd be small. It could bump into my toes, but no one would know. By now the floor was warm, and only my feet felt numb anymore. But she'd come in, call me cold—no, I was small. Small, small, just part of the wall.

Let my hair suck in light. Let my lungs breathe out silence. Let my limbs melt into my flat body, no more breasts, no more hips, no more waist or nose or chin.

Small, small, just part of the wall.

And let no one ever find me.

I woke up with the afterimage of light shining through strands of hair burned into my mind's eye. Morning sunlight shone onto the amber hair of Ayako, who had changed her mind about staying on seeing she'd have to leave me all alone with four men (or rather 'a pathetic excuse for a monk, a rock, a naïve priest, and a narcisstic brat'). Not to mention she had yet to hear from Masako that her general shrine priestess purification had worked (Naru had pretty much ignored her when she walked past in her uniform and set up her shrine in the entry hall).

After waking up from a dream that left my arms and legs cold, I couldn't be more glad. I didn't want to vanish into a wall, where no one would find me. I didn't want to be so alone.

Ayako rolled over with a groan. "Curtains...damn it, what time is it?" She blinked out the sleepies and frowned on meeting my eye. "You okay?"

"Dream," I said.

"I take it not a nice one."

I shook my head and tucked my hands into my armpits. How'd I get so cold?

"What was it about? It might have to do with the case."

As I knew well. I searched my mind for words, but couldn't quite find them. "This one was weird. I didn't really see much but...some light through my hair. Maybe a floor. Mostly it was just hearing all these thoughts about wanting to be small, I don't know."

"Small?"

"Yeah. Or was it flat? There was something about becoming part of a wall." I shook myself and sat up, my blankets puddeling at the end of my cot. "That's probably not any help now. Though Masako did say something about feeling like there were spirits hiding—no, it was dormant, she said."

Ayako nodded and yawned, though when her jaw came closed her lips were pursed. Across from us, Naru's, John's, and Lin's cots were empty, though Takigawa's tuft of honey blond hair stuck out from above a lump of sleeping bag and cotton blanket. We decided to let him sleep while we took turns with the shower and got ready for the day.

At base, Naru was ready with a cup of coffee. He didn't look like he entirely enjoyed it, but it wasn't like there was a working kitchen in this place, right? And with all the asbestos, he probably wouldn't want to risk me disturbing some insulation or accidentally setting the whole place in flame.

"Mai, there's an electric kettle in the tote at the end of the table. Make me some tea."

I almost tore off my shoe and threw it at him. "Can't you bother with a please?"

He grunted. "Please."

An 'I love you,' or even a nice, 'sleep well?' would have been too much to ask for. If Naru was such a crabby morning person, why'd he get up so damn early? It wasn't like anyone was making him.

There also happened to be a heating plate and some basic, non-perishable breakfast foods in the tote as well. Just as I was pulling out a bag of bagels, the door opened and John came in, a plastic bag in one hand and milk in the other.