s k i n s

TROIS

HER VISION WAS HAZY AND HAIR DISHEVELED WHEN SHE FINALLY WOKE. 

She clenched her jaw and looked around her.

Empty surroundings and an empty mind. 

Shaking her head she knew, she had the fire to finally leave now.

Maybe today, maybe tomorrow.

She doesn't know when.

But soon. 

. . . 

I grieve for m u s i c, for l i f e and for l o v e. 

Three things I had once held.

I used to s i n g, all the time. In the shower, at recitals and I'd have competitions with my little sister as my older brother would shake his head at us but join in anyway.

It's amazing how you can be happy for so long and then like that. 

It's all disappears from your fingertips. 

　　　　Ripped away. 

I used to have a l i f e. Friends who saw me everyday, parties and clubs and sports though I was never very good. 

And it left me, all of it. 

I used to be in l o v e, I had been dating Alex for six months. I barely remember his face now though, and have always wondered that if I saw his face again would I still love him?

Would I still get butterflies and a blush of crimson to my cheeks?

Would I?

I look down at my wrists, bandaged but not enough for blood to still have soaked through. 

A red and white mess.

 My hands reach up to touch my face and meet a swollen cheek of where he slapped me only yesterday morning. 

At least I think it was morning, it's hard to tell anymore. 

. . .

I had slept on the mattress for hours, my dreams full of nightmares and creatures of the night.

I jump up from the bed, a scream escaping my mouth as I claw my way towards the other side of the room.

My lower lip wobbles as I run a hand through my brown hair and look down at my once tan skin. 

Paled and sickly now.

Tears slip down my cheeks and my vision sways back and forth as my head pounds. 

A banging sound comes from my left and the sound of a click has me pulling my legs up beneath me and rocking back and forth as he opens the door. 

Murmuring words to a song I don't know I look down, I would shut my eyes, but not even then I'm safe. 

Hooded and dressed in dark colors he enters, coming down the few stairs and standing in front of me. 

And there are those eyes, finding mine and piercing me with his intense gaze of terror.

I let loose a breath I hadn't known I'd be holding as he nears me. 

Closer and closer and I feel myself stop. 

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　Stop everything.

I don't move as he grabs my arm and jerks me up with a calloused hand. 

I don't even flinch as him palm collides with my cheek sending me flying to the ground. 

I hold back a yelp as foot collides with skin and I choke down bile that comes up my throat. 

He doesn't say anything, but his breathing is harsh as if he'd been running only a moment ago. 

I flip onto my back clutching my cheek, now I have a match. One on both side. 

He tilts his head at me, studying my face as if memorizing my features. 

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming, but the truth is I don't think I have enough strength left in me to even do that. 

He grabs my wrist and yanks me up pulling me into his arms and I squirm at the touch of him. 

Pushing away. 

He runs a hand through my hair and I feel tears slip down my bruised face. 

I flinch when he holds my chin in his hand and brings me closer to his face. Lips against my ear I feel his breath on my neck. 

"You're nothing but a shadow." He says and my eyes widen at the words. 

He'd never said anything to me till know. Voice a rasp and a tad husky as if he might choke on what he said. 

I feel my fingertips go numb as he pulls away and I race backwards, my back meeting wall as he throws a bottle of water to me and disappears behind a door. A clicking sound fills the void of the room. 

You're nothing but a shadow  

　　　　　　S　h　a　d　o　w

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　S　h　a　d　o　w

I don't want to feel, the pain, the hate, the anger. 

I'm trapped and I'm a shadow. 

Nothing but darkness. 

I reach a hand towards the bottle and take the cap off, looking down at the water I move it to my lips and take a drink.

And then another.

　　　　　And another.

And soon the bottle is empty and I feel the pain slip away.

I feel the darkness close in. 

I feel just how empty I am as darkness plays with my vision till it surrounds me and clouds the room. 

And my head tilts to the side in an unconscious state of delirium