s k i n s

NEUF

She's feeling in the dark

But she finds nothing

She's got no where to hide

The darkness eats away at her

She's biting back screams and pushing away memories

And they're all slipping from her grasp

S 　H 　A 　K 　Y 

And

C 　H 　A 　O 　S

• • •

I think I'm being pulled apart. 

I think something is tearing at my chest begging to be set free but nothing is working. 

And then these dreams have me screaming 

I think I'm dying

I don't know what to think anymore

• • •

The officer looks at me. 

"Wait, so you're telling me, that your name is not Shadow?"

I nod at him and he scribbles something down. 

"Why did you tell me that was your name?" 

"He once said that I was nothing but a shadow. And it was like he named me, and that's what I am."

"I'm sorry." 

His words have no feeling and just fall with an emptiness I'm so used to now. 

I've realized something, when someone gives you their pity or their sorry's it's just a bunch of bull shit, they don't know.

And they never will.

Because these things only happen to the damned. 

And I'm one of them. 

A damned soul.

• • •

He left quickly after that, mumbling something out the door I didn't understand.

And when he leaves I cry. 

I let out harsh sobs into my hands. 

And I let all the tears run down my pale skin. 

And I don't stop.

Its all too much, and I'm drowning in this misery of darkness I've been put under. 

I don't know what to do. 

• • • 

They don't give me anything to sleep 

Just painkillers

None of it dulls the ache inside though

It's all raw and ripped 

And I'm closing my eyes at night wishing I never had to open them again

But I do

And it hurts to look at the faces watching me 

As if I'm something they can fix

But I'm nothing but broken

And there's no going back

• • •

The sun streams in all golden and soft.

I missed the sun for so long, and here it is, laying itself down on my rumpled sheets.